Link's misadventures in wind waker
by MysticalChaosX
Summary: This is a parody of the legend of zelda wind waker. What if Link, and his screw off personality, caused him and his partner, the king of red lions, lots of trouble as they attempt to find the princess of hyrule herself, Zelda! This was originally supposed to be a single chapter story, but was changed to a multi chapter for various reasons that you may or may not know. C ya! :
1. Attempting to get the octo chart

**Hello people! It's me, Chaos, and I'm here with a new fanfic! This time, it's based off of Legend of Zelda Wind Waker! I've been playing it a lot lately and I thought it would be cool to write something for Wind Waker! Anyway I hope you enjoy this! :3**

**Link's misadventures in Wind Waker**

It was a normal in the great sea for our hyrule hero, Link. He was just wandering around Windfall Island doing absolutely random and unnecessary things around the Island. The King of red lions was starting to get annoyed of Link's constant messing around and desperately wanted him to do something productive.

"Link, we have a princess to save," The king of red lions said to our, rather aloof, hero, "We don't have time for this nonsense!"

Link looked deeply offended.

"This is not nonsense," He stated, "I was just about to use the song of passing to change it to night time and steal from that Eskimo guy's shop"

"How on earth is that even remotely productive?"

"It's not. I need more money to have tingle translate those triforce charts for me. He charges A LOT of rupees for that!"

"We're not supposed to know that," The king of red lions said, "You just broke the fourth wall by unintentionally revealing something that has yet to appear in this game"

Link only stared at him.

"Oh, shitake mushrooms. I just broke the fourth wall by saying that we're in a game!" The king of red lions said

"Shitake mushrooms?" Link laughed

"The author wanted to avoid cuss words," He sighed, "That was the only thing she could think of without saying the S word"

Link only stared at him.

"Can I go rob his shop now? I need more money," Link said, "I was going to frame Mila anyway. It's not like I can just collect rupees from pots or grass at all"

The king of red lions groaned.

"Link, you can. Every Legend of Zelda game has that mechanic in it" He stated

"Well, maybe I don't like Mila. Maybe, I want her to get fired from that shop and kicked off this island" Link responded

"That's harsh, Link"

"Whatever, now what on earth is there to do?"

The king of red lions groaned again.

"You have treasure chart twenty six," He stated, "Go find it. I heard it's important"

"I don't see why the treasure its so important. It's usually rupees and I also heard that one of them contains a green rupee"

"It's the octo chart, Link. It reveals the location of the six octos. It saves us from accidently encountering them on the way to our location"

"I can handle an octo! I am Link the hero of winds. The ultimate fighter and savior of the entire world"

(5 minutes later, on the way to the location of the treasure of treasure chart twenty six)

Link screamed as he circled around in a whirlpool, surrounding a big octo. The king of red lions only sighed.

"I told you that we should of taken an alternate path to the island! This is exactly why we need the octo chart!" He scolded Link

"Stop scolding me! I'm trying to figure out how to stop this thing!" Link screamed at him

"No, you're screaming like a little girl"

"Shut up"

The king of red lions looked annoyed.

"Why don't you just use the bombs, bow and arrow or boomerang?" He asked annoyed

"I can do that? Why wasn't I told about this?" Link said surprised

"I did! Seventy-five times to be exact!"

"Oh"

Link went silent as he got out his bombs and started shooting rapidly at the octo. He missed almost every single shot that he fired and was literally left with one bomb.

"I got to make this shot count," Link said, "He only has one eye left and he's dead"

"I don't think you can do this," The king of red lions said, "you're aim is truly awful"

"Why don't you aim it?"

"I can't, I literally have no arms. In case you haven't noticed, I'm a boat"

Link gulped and carefully aimed the bomb at it's single remaining eye. Link, with a look of confidence, was extremely in focus of the single eye. The king of red lions ,on the other hand, was convinced that his aim was going to be way off. The bomb went off and flew over the octo's head. Link's jaw dropped in shock at the misfired shot. The king of red lions wasn't surprised at all. All of a sudden, a random bomb dropped from out of nowhere and hit it's remaining eye. The pair looked shocked at one another.

A bomb ship appeared from out of nowhere next to them. The pair screamed out in surprise.

"Who the hell are you?" Link screamed

"I'm Bob, the bomb ship. I saw you were having some trouble and showed up to help you" The ship said

"You're a talking bomb ship?" The king of red lions asked

"Well, you're a talking boat. What? I can't be allowed to talk! By the way, have some bombs"

"How did you know we were out of bombs?"

"I saw how horrible Link's aim was"

"HOW DO YOU KNOW MY NAME?" Link screamed

"Oops, look at the time! I've got to go! Bye!" The ship disappeared in a puff of smoke

The pair just stared at one another.

"What the heck just happened?" Link asked the king of red lions

"I have no idea, but I think you have a stalker ship"

"He didn't even give us any bombs!"

They heard a sound from the distance and looked up.

"This isn't going to end well, is it?" Link asked

"No crap, Sherlock!" The king of red lions screamed in his face

The pair looked up and screamed.

(About an hour later, at Windfall)

"That was the worst experience ever!" Link screamed

"I know right? That was truly awful" The king of red lions said

"It was, literally, raining bombs. How is that even possible?"

"No one knows, Link"

Everything went silent.

"I just realized something" Link said

"Yes?" The king of red lions asked

"We didn't get the octo chart!"

"Ah, screw it. I don't want to risk getting murdered by an octo just for one chart"

Everything, once again, went silent.

"Sooo. What do we do now?" Link asked

"I don't know," The king of red lions said, "Want to go take our anger out on some enemies that clearly don't deserve to be tortured to death. Like in the savage labyrinth?"

"I don't think so. Last time I went in there, I screamed at a frequency ten times higher than a male's scream is supposed to be"

"That's not's something to be ashamed of, Link"

"People kept mistaking me for a heterosexual! I'm clearly a male, but they think I sound and scream like a girl! I do not sound like a girl"

"Your scream isn't that high, Link"

"Do you happen to remember what happened in six eye reef? I was blindly shooting bombs all over the island trying to destroy the bomb ships and cannons. And that was all while screaming at the frequency of girl with a really high pitched scream. I even literally destroyed the entire island with my supply of ninety-nine bombs!"

The king of red lions went silent.

"Oh, never mind than. You do scream like a little girl, on helium" He said

Link, angrily, got out of the boat and walked off in a different direction. The king of red lions stared at the path he walked down before looking down at the ocean and sighing.

"Well, of least it's quiet now" He said

"Attention to the boat that looks like a demented combination of a lion and boat!" Someone screamed

The boat ignored the yell and continued to stare into the water. All the citizens, stared at the boat.

"Yo! King of red lions! Pay attention to me!" The same someone screamed again

The king of red lions ignored it again. The citazens had enough of the yelling.

"Dude, listen to your friend!" They all screamed in unison.

The king of red lions sighed and looked up. His jaw, literally, dropped when he saw Link standing at the top of the windmill.

"Link, get down here right now!" He screamed

"No, I have something to say!" He screamed

The king of red lions only sighed.

"I am absolutely sick of being killed by random enemies! I am sick of being disrespected by people, because of my gay looking green tunic that my grandma insisted would be an excellent birthday gift. I will end this game right now! I will jump off this windmill to the ground and waste all my recovery hearts and end this game forever!" Link ranted

"Link, this is a video game! Jumping from the windmill will only result in you getting a game over. You will just appear right back on this island afterwards" The king of red lions said

"All lies! I am the hero of winds and I declare that I will jump from here. I will end this forever!"

"If you're the hero of winds, wouldn't that mean that you would just respawn at the starting point of this island? You are the hero after all" Mila yelled up to him

Link thought about it for a second.

"Dang it, Mila! I will murder you!" He yelled unsheathing his sword

All of a sudden, he started to lose his balance. The crowd of people watching him stared as he toppled back and forth on the top of the tower. Eventually, Link fell backwards and a huge splash was heard from a distance. The crowd remained silent until they heard Link's screams.

"Help! I'm drowning!" Link screamed

Everyone stared at one another.

"Who cares?" One citizen asked

"We don't!" Everyone else screamed

"He'll respond anyway. He is the hero after all" The king of red lions said

Everyone else was silent for a bit. They all went back to their lives like Link wasn't in any danger at all.

"Oh, come on! I am literally drowning here! Do you know how long of a swimming distance it is from here to the king of red lions? Clearly you don't! Now help me!" He screamed

No one said anything and ignored him.

"No one is listening to me," He said, "I'm doo….."

**Game over! :D**

**That was a bit on the random side, but yay! I hope you all enjoyed that. I love wind waker with a passion and actually considered doing a spoof for it before, but never really did it. Well, I'll stop wasting your lives and end this already. Especially since it's like eleven o'clock where I am and I really want to get some sleep. Anyway, read and review. See ya later people! J**


	2. The forsaken fortress

**Hello people! This is the second chapter of Link's misadventures in wind waker! This chapter is the first not to include, our well known talking boat the king of red lions! He appears in the next chapter though. Anyway, I'll stop talking and let you read on! J**

**Link's misadventures in wind waker: The forsaken fortress**

Link looked off in the distance as the pirate ship sailed away from outset, waving as if he was sad about leaving the island he's known for all of his messed up, strange life. Tetra stood behind him, obviously annoyed, and glared at him.

"Link, if you're sad to leave your little island," She said, "I can throw you overboard and let you swim back"

Link turned around.

"Oh, I don't miss the island," He said, "I was just making it look like I did. I don't want anyone thinking I don't miss them"

"You don't though" Tetra said

"Yes, but I don't want them thinking that"

"And what about your little sister?"

"I plan on rescuing her, even though she's annoying. More annoying than those one enemies that make that one annoying noise that drives just about everyone crazy"

"Yeah, those are annoying, but we have important business to get done"

"But, Captain. Link and yourself just broke the fourth wall" Mako pointed out

"Shut up, Mako!" They screamed

The pirate sighed and walked away with his, unnecessarily thick, book. Tetra looked at Link with a look of disgust.

"What? Did I do something wrong already? I've only been on this ship for five minutes and I'm already being hated" Link said

"I don't hate you" Mako added in

"Shut up, Mako!" They screamed at him again

Tetra looked back at Link.

"No, I don't hate you, but you know what you're supposed to be doing right now" She said

"No, I don't! No one ever told me what I'm supposed to be doing right now! I'm not a genius, you know?" He snapped at her

"Oh, in that case. Go see Niko, the second lowest ranked pirate on this ship"

"Who's the lowest ranked?"

"You. You obviously just joined us and clearly deserve the rank you got"

Link only sighed and went to meet up with Niko. He opened the door to the inside of the ship and looked around. He raised an eyebrow and looked over at, what appeared to be, Tetra's bed room. The pirate guarding it looked at him.

"What are you looking at, knave?" He asked

"I'm clearly looking at you and this isn't the middle ages. No one in this universe says knave" Link responded with his arms crossed.

"Well, than. As you can see, I am guarding Tetra's bedroom from evil!"

"The only people on this ship are the pirates, Tetra and myself. Who could possibly go and bestow evil upon this ship?"

The pirate went silent.

"I don't know. Tetra pays me to do this. She literally said that she would tie me up from the plank and use me as shark bait, if I refused to do this" He snapped

"We get paid?" Link asked

"No, she says that so people don't think she's a cheap pirate captain that constantly neglects her crew"

"Isn't she though?"

"Yes, she is"

It went silent for a second. All that was heard was Tetra, once again, screaming "Shut up, Mako".

"What does she have against that guy?" Link asked

"Mako? I don't know. She just hates him" The pirate said

"Do you all hate him to?"

"No, of course not. He's the smart pirate. We'd be screwed without him. Tetra just hates him for some unspecified reason"

"Ah. Listen, I'm sorry to stop this conversation early is, but I need to go meet with Niko about something that was clearly not told about"

"Niko? You mean the second lowest ranked pirate on this ship?"

"Yes, that guy. Now, I must go before Tetra finds me and screams at me nonstop like she's doing to Mako out there"

"Shut up, Mako!" Tetra yelled louder than the last time

The pair went silent and stared at one another for a second. Link walked away slowly, before running in the opposite direction. He walked down a stair case into a large, open space that appeared to be without people at all.

"Oh, hello! You must be the new guy, Link" Someone said

"Yes, how in heck did you know that?" Link asked him'

"My name is Niko. I'm in charge of testing the new guys to see if they're ready for the life of a pirate" Niko explained

"Listen, I'm just here temporarily. Tetra said she would sail me to where my sister is being held captive and then I'm on my own. I'm not here to become a real pirate and sail the great sea in search of treasure"

"Tetra says otherwise. Pirates that enter this ship, don't get away that easy. This is where you'll be trapped for your childhood years. Being raised to steal from innocent citizens and hunt for unnecessary treasure, that probably doesn't get spent anyway"

"Shut up, Niko. Just let me get this test over with"

"As you wish, knave"

"I just got done telling the guy guarding Tetra's room that this isn't the middle ages"

"Whatever you say, kid"

Link only sighed, clearly annoyed with being called names that made no sense what so ever. Niko ran over to one of two switches and jumped on it. A bunch of platforms rose from the floor.

"Platforming? This is the test that every pirate has to pass?" Link asked

"It's not as easy as it looks, kid. This test took me two years to master. I bet it'll take you longer than two years" Niko said

"Done!" Link screamed from across the area

Niko's jaw dropped when he noticed that Link had managed to cross the platforms in almost fifteen seconds flat.

"How the heck did you do that? That literally took you almost fifteen seconds! Are you some kind of deity?" He asked

"No, I'm just a twelve year old kid from outset island. I've been doing this kind of thing for years, for absolutely no reason to"

"I hate you, but as required, take the treasure"

"I bet this'll be the most awesome treasure ever!"

Link opened the chest and scowled when he came out with only a bag.

"A bag? Is this some kind of joke?" Link yelled to him

"It's a spoilers bag. You can use it to store collectables in!" Niko responded

"It's better than a green rupee?"

"How are you going to get back? You can take the ladder if you want"

"Or I can do this"

"How did you get here?"

"I did the plat forming thing again. This time, it took me twelve seconds!"

"Dang, you're good"

Link didn't say anything and walked back up the stairs. Niko sighed and sat down on the wooden floor.

"I am so lonely. Can someone please come and keep me company?" He yelled

"No one is going to keep you company, Niko. Deal with it" The pirate from upstairs said

(Meanwhile outside)

"When the hell did it turn night time?" Link asked

"No one knows. The time system in this game makes no sense at all" The pirates said

"This is just sad, we're two chapters in and the fourth wall has been broken like five times now. Is this going to be some kind of running gag?"

"Maybe" Mako said

"Shut up, Mako!" Everyone screamed at him

Link stared at everyone, not knowing what to say about that. He walked away slowly and ran to the ladder, climbing it to the top as fast as he could. When he reached the top, Tetra was waiting for him.

"It's about time you show up!" She screamed in his face

"I'm sorry, but I was with Niko. And those pirates done there are crazy" He said

"I know right? That's why I'm up here"

"So, what exactly do you need?"

"Look over there"

Link did as told and looked over in the direction she was pointing.

"Please don't tell that my sister is being held there" He said

"I can't do that. Do you see that window with all the seagulls flying around it?" Tetra asked

"Yes, let me guess, my sister and who ever else is being held in there"

"How did you know?"

"Seagulls love my sister"

"How do you know that?"

"Seagulls literally delivered her to our house in a basket. My parents never figured out who her parents were and decided to keep her"

"That's strange, but that's not important right now. We need to get you into that fortress"

"How? it's heavily guarded," He looked over at some barrels, "I wonder if there is money stashed in here"

Tetra grinned.

"I just got the bestest idea ever!" She screamed

"Don't you mean the best idea ever?" Link asked

"No, it's funnier when you say bestest. The author is a better writer than you think she is"

"Six, the fourth wall has been broken six times"

"Stop counting that!"

(five minutes later)

"Let me out of this dang barrel right now! I don't deserve to be launched into the fortress like this!" Link screamed

"Relax, Link. We know what we're doing," She looked over at Gonzo, "You know what you're doing, right?"

"Maybe" He responded

She looked over at Link.

"We know what we're doing," She took at hold of the switch, "One!"

"I don't want to do this" Link said

"Two!"

"Get me out of here now!"

"Too late, three!"

"I hate you all!" Link screamed as he went flying through the air

The pirates watched as he flew, hitting the wall of the fortress and dropping his sword onto the platform and sliding down into the water,'

"Oops, our aim was off. Should we run?" Tetra asked

"Definitely" Gonzo said

The ship instantly turned and took off, somehow, at lightning speed. Link got to the surface and groaned.

"They hit me into a wall and DITCHED ME!" THOSE JERKS!" He screamed

He climbed onto land and sighed with annoyance. All of a sudden, he felt his tunic vibrate and jumped. He looked down to see a blue gem lying on the ground glowing. He slowly picked it up.

"Link, I slipped this gem into your pocket when we put you into the barrel, Sorry that Mako misfired it and made you hit that wall" Tetra said

"I did not!" Mako screamed

"Shut up, Mako. Anyway, I want you to avoid getting caught by those spotlights and make your way over to those spotlight areas and shut them down. There is an enemy manning each one"

"Without a sword?" Link asked

"There happens to be a pot of sticks located near the enemy. Grab one and kill him"

"How do you know this?"

"Strategy guide"

"There's goes the seventh time. The fourth wall has been broken seven times now"

The gem stopped glowing.

"Oops, I just annoyed her and now she's not helping me. Oh, well. I might as well go do what she said to do" He said

Link made his way up the stairs.

(Fifteen minutes later, at the last spotlight area)

"Die, you stupid ugly monster! I will not let you hinder me in my quest to save my adorable, yet annoying, little sister!" Link screamed as he whacked the monster repeatedly with a stick

The monster eventually backed away and ran away screaming at his unstoppable rage. The monster was dumb enough not to realize that there was a ledge and fell off, drowning. Link shrugged and walked away from the spotlight area, proud of violent effort.

(ten minutes later, at the moblin room)

"How in heck do I do this?" He asked himself

"You really don't know? You have to jump into one the barrels and slowly, yet carefully, make your way to the door without getting caught by the moblins" Tetra explained

"Or I could do this" Link said taking our a bag of Doritos and throwing them off

The two moblins noticed this and jumped down from the area to find them. Link smirked as Tetra sighed in annoyance at how lazy Link really was.

"See, it worked" Link said

"I hate you" She said

(ten minutes later, in the room with the cage and the three girls)

"That was an amazingly violent battle. It would be a shame if the author didn't show it in order to keep a good rating" Link said proudly

"Link, that's exactly what she did. She wants to avoid violence, but she didn't skip the part where you violently barraged that monster with a stick to his suicidal death" Tetra explained

"She's a strange girl,," Link said proudly, "And she's the strange author of this strange story as well"

"Eight, Link," Tetra said, "The fourth wall has been broken eight times in these two chapters"

"Shut up, Tetra!"

Link looked around and grinned when he saw his little sister in a cage with two other girls. He ran up to the cage and the three girls looked up.

"Big brother, you came to save me!" His sister cried

The other two didn't look amused.

"What about us? We're important to! I'm rich for goddesses sake!" The other blonde screamed

"Mila, we don't care about that" The red head stated

"Listen, girls. I'm just here to rescue my sister. I told my home island that I would rescue her and bring her back safely. I'm sorry that I can't rescue you two, but I'm sure someone will and return you two to your homes" Link said

"Karma will get you for this. If you don't save us, Karma will get her revenge" The red head added

"Karma? What can she do? Send a giant bird to swoop down and grab me, chucking me off to some random island in the great sea?" Link asked

"Actually, yes" His sister said

Link slowly turned around and sighed.

"I should of seen this coming" He said

The bird reached out it's claw and grabbed him, flying off with him.

"Big brother!" His sister screamed

"That's what you get for not saving us!" Mila and the red head screamed

"Oh, do you want to start something, because my brother is the greatest hero ever!"

The three girls bickered back and forth as the bird carried Link to his master.

"Oh my goodness! It's an ominous looking man that also appears to be somewhat fat" Link screamed

"I am not fat! Why do people insist that I am? You know what? At first, I was going to lock you up in a cage with your sister and let you live, but now I'm going to have my bird throw you as far away as I want him to!" The man screamed at him

The bird and Link only stared at him.

"What are you waiting for? THROW HIM" He bellowed

"I'm sorry" Link said

"It's too late for I'm sorry, kid. Bird, THROW HIM"

The bird nodded and threw him in a random direction. The mad man laughed manically as he watched the kid fly away, all while the kid was screaming like a girl on helium.

"Screw you, mysterious stranger!" Link screamed

**Game over! D:**

**Well , that's the end of chapter two. I think this one is longer than chapter one! Oh my goodness, how on earth did I manage to put more effort into chapter two? Lol. Anyway, read and review. I hope you all enjoyed chapter two! J**

**See ya! And BTW: I apologize if some of you were getting annoyed by me referring to Link's sister as "his sister". I know her name, but I couldn't spell it. Thanks for reading!  
**


	3. The forbidden woods

Hello people! it's me again! First of all, I want to say something in response to the person who reviewed. First of all, it was supposed to be a one chapter story, but I decided to make it a multi chapter story afterwards. Sorry for that confusion. Last of all, I read the reviews and thank you. I read somewhere in there that Link is sexually attracted to guys, but he's not. If I accidentally put something in the first chapter that sounds like he was, sorry! I really didn't know the definition of heterosexual back when I typed that. So, oops.

Anyway, enough of that stuff. This is the third chapter of Link's misadventures in wind waker. I hope you all enjoy this, because I already have other ideas for future chapters and I really work hard on these.

Link's misadventures in wind waker: The forbidden woods

"Link, stop goofing off and get play the dang wind's requiem!" The king of red lions barked at Link

"No, I want to take a break," He said, "Going through dungeons is hard"

"Link, that was only the first dungeon of the game. If you feel that it was hard, I really don't know what to say"

"Listen to me, I said I would rescue my sister. I never said that I would go on some quest to save the great sea from a psychotic mad man that intends to take it over"

"Link, he isn't really going for that. He's looking for the princess, Zelda. By the way, his name is Ganondorf. I told you this three times before this moment"

"Well, I prefer to call him Ganondork or Ganondouche" Link said

"Link, you are aware that this parody isn't about making fun of others, right?"

"No, but that's how I look at it. Who cares if she's trying to be funny by messing with our character and making us say or do stupid things? I certainly don't"

The king of red lions only glared at him.

"Link, you worked so hard to get through that one dungeon. Now, continue this quest and find princess Zelda or I will make sure that you die in the most cruel way possible" He snapped at him

Link looked frightened and took the wind waker out.

"Okay, tell me what the directions are" He said

"You didn't memorize it?" The king of red lions asked

"No, I have a bad memory. Now, refresh it"

"Fine," He sighed, "It's up, left and, then, right"

"Thank you"

Link played the wind's requiem and stared at the King of red lions like he was supposed to instruct him on what to do. He only sighed

"South, Link. It's south" He said

"Thank you" He responded, setting the wind direction to south

Link entered the boat, placing the wind waker back in his pocket, and setting up the sail. The pair then set off to their next destination.

"King of red lions, where is our next destination anyway?" Link asked his partner

"It's the forest haven, home of the koroks and, my close friend, the great deku tree" The king of red lions responded

"You're friends with a tree?"

"Yes, Link. I am friends with a tree. Got a problem with that?"

"Actually, yes. I don't want to be traveling with some tree hugger, I have to take my anger out on something"

"You cut down trees when you're angry?"

"Yes, I need something to take my anger out on!"

"That's harsh, Link. Imagine how mad the people who actually like nature are going to be once they hear this"

"I don't care. I may be an unofficial hero, but I still keep up my bad habits"

"Wouldn't that make you hypocritical hero? Or perhaps a sociopathic hero?"

"I'm not a sociopath. I just do things that most heroes would never do, there is a huge difference"

"Sure there is, Link. Sure there is"

(fifteen minutes later on forest haven)

The duo arrived at forest haven. The king of red lions stared at in awe. Link, on the other hand, didn't care and just wanted to go kill something on the island.

"Link, welcome to forest haven" The king of red lions said

"Why on earth did we come here? All I see is a pointless island" Link said

"This is the location of the next pearl"

"What pearls?"

"The pearls that are required to get into the third dungeon of this game'

"I don't get you"

The king of red lions sighed.

"Just enter the island, Link"

"Okay"

(five and a half minutes later, inside forest haven)

Link walked into the island, clearly not impressed by what he saw.

"This place makes me sick," He said, "Why on earth did I let the king of red lions convince me to come here. Now, where in heck is that deku tree that he told me about"

He walked around the area for several minutes before stopping on a random Lilly pad located in the center of the room. He looked up and sighed.

"How did I not the huge tree in the middle of the room? I am that stupid?" He asked himself

He approached the tree, poking it, and backed away.

"I don't see a point to this" He said

All of a sudden, a bunch of chus appeared on the tree. Link's eyes went wide as he drew his sword out of it's sheath and got into position. He was even more surprised when the tree came to life and starting screaming. He dropped his position and stared, jaw dropped, at the tree.

"What the fudge? The tree can talk?" He asked himself

All of a sudden, the army of chus jumped off the tree towards Link. Link was about to run, but the entire group covered him and was proceeding to attack him nonstop. The tree only stared as the child was beaten to death.

"This is getting old," The tree said, "Koroks, help him"

All of a sudden, a group of plant people appeared from the behind the great tree and proceeded to beat the chus with sticks. The group of chus disappeared in a puff of smoke and formed a circle around the boy. Link stood and stared at the group of people.

"Hi," He said, "Who are you people?"

"We are the koroks," They all said, "Servants of the great deku tree and protectors of nature. Here to reassure that the great sea will have various forms of flora, rather than the deadly plants outside that have attempted to ear us in the past"

"Their seeds are useful though" One of the koroks added

"That's true" All the other koroks said

"Can you just explain if there's a problem here? I am the unofficial hero of this game and I need something heroic to do or this is just a pointless quest" Link said

"Oh, there are no problems," The deku tree said, "We are just preparing for the festival, in which we give out the goddesses pearl to the person of our choice. Everything is going according to plan, we are in no need of help"

All of a sudden, a random korok literally popped up from thin air in front of the tree.

"I am so sorry to interrupt this great conversation you've all starting here, but I come here with terrible news about our dear korok Makar" He said

"I have two questions to ask. One, what the haystack happened? And two, WHERE THE HECK DID YOU COME FROM?" The deku tree asked

"Oh, Makar and I were challenging each other to race from one end of the island to the other and he fell into the forbidden woods. And , to answer your next question, I am the strange magical korok that makes super excellent potion"

"Why were you two flying above the forbidden woods?" The tree asked

"It was a race. Why the heck not?"

"Your dumb. Now we have absolutely no violin player for the festival"

Link suddenly realized something and grinned.

"I can save him! I am the unofficial hero of this game!" He announced

"Why the unofficial hero?" One of the koroks asked

"The king of red lions says I make an awful hero and that all I'm good for is causing trouble, but I'll prove him wrong. So, send me into to rescue your dear friend, Makar, and return him here without a problem"

The koroks and their tree master thought about it for a second.

"That is a very generous offer, my friend. We will accept your help, but first you need the item that allows you to fly across great distances with the power of magic" The tree said

"Great! Where can I get this item?" Link asked

"You can only get it from using those flowers to jump from branch to branch and making it to the highest point of me"

"Are you serious? Is this like a super special item?"

"Sure, let's go with that. Do you want it or not?"

"Of course I want it. This should be a piece of cake!"

(Almost twenty-five tries later)

Link, bruised and cut up, finally reached the highest point of the great deku tree. He made a sigh of relief and sat down with a thud.

"That was the worst thing that I could possibly done" Link said

"Tell me about it" A random korok said from next to him

"Where the haystack did you come from?"

"I took the elevator up here. You didn't know about that?"

"No! Why wasn't I told about this?"

"I guess you didn't ask about it. Anyway, you wanted the sacred item that gives one the ability to fly across great distances"

"Yes, give it to me!"

"As you wish, my friend"

The korok handed Link a leaf about the size of his body. The hero only stared at him as he turned the leaf in his hands.

"You only gave me a huge leaf. Why is this important?" Link asked him

"That is the great deku leaf. It gives the power of flight to however uses it, but it only works if you jump from a cliff of some sort" The korok explained

"So, I have to risk my life in order for this to work?"

"Yes, pretty much. Now, use your new item to fly over to that area of grass"

"You mean the one shaped like an arrow, pointing to the way of the temple?"

"Of course, my friend! Now, go and rescue our dear friend, Makar, and return him safely to this island!"

Link sighed and made his way to the temple.

(Almost thirty minutes later, at the temple)

Link groaned, clearly annoyed, and shoved the leaf back into his pocket.

"I can't believe I failed that almost twenty-three times in a row," He said, "I barely have any magic left"

"Link, you only have a small meter of magic. How in heck did you have enough magic to fail twenty-three times?" The king of red lions asked from the gossip stone

"I hacked the game so that I would have the double magic bar when I got the first magic consuming item. Chaos didn't seem to mind"

"That's because you threatened to cut her with your sword and tell all of her embarrassing secrets to all of the world. You literally black mailed her in order to do that"

"Yes, I did. And I'm pretty proud of myself. Now, let's not waste anymore time and get through this temple already"

(Later at the mini boss chamber)

Link entered the room and looked around.

"Why does every room in this temple resemble a demon infested forest?" He asked

"Because, Link. It's a forest temple. The temple has been taken over by a monster known as a boss. You are currently in the mini boss chamber, where you will battle the mid boss of this dungeon for the main item of the island" The king of red lions said

"Well, than. Where's the mini boss? I don't see it anywhere," He looked up, "Why the heck is there glitter falling from the ceiling?"

"Look up"

Link did as he was told and looked up. His eyes went wide when he noticed a moth hanging above the door. The moth flew into the center of the room.

"Salutations, hero. My name is mothula, the mini boss of the forbidden woods. I am here to hinder your quest to the main boss chamber. As well as protect the very special item" The moth said

"You can talk? I didn't know bosses can talk!" Link said

"Well, my friend. We can talk and now I will defeat you uses my raw power and…."

The moth was interrupted by Link.

"And glitter" He added

"It's not glitter, my poor mistaken friend" He argued

"No, I'm sure it is"

"No, it's not"

"It sparkles like glitter and it certainly looks like it. Are you sure it isn't?"

"No it's not just ask my little children over there"

Link looked over at a group of spike balls sitting in the corner of the room. They appeared to have one eye and looked undeniably adorable.

"Those are yours? They look so much cuter than you" Link said

"Yes, they are, and I am just as cute as them!" He screamed

"No, you're not, Daddy" The little spike balls said

The moth went silent. Link only stared at it, expecting it to attack.

"Hello? Are you going to attack me? You are a mini boss after all"

All of a sudden, the boss exploded all over the room. Link and the little spike balls appeared to be covered in black ashes.

"What the hell just happened?" Link asked

A mothula with no wings entered the room.

"Oh, he exploded. That's what happens to grown up mothulas when they're insulted. Don't worry, he'll respawn in a bit. You may want to run before he does" The wingless mothula said

"Are you his wife?"

"Yes, I am his wife and these are my lovely children"

"Hello Mr. green man!" The spike balls said

"Oh, okay than. Have fun with that. I have a dungeon to finish" Link left the room

"Goodbye Mr. green man!" The spike balls said

(Later at the boss chamber)

"King of red lions, this has been the worst temple yet. I cannot believe that I have dealt with this place for this long, but who cares? I have an innocent korok to rescue and I will indeed rescue him! No one will stop me!" Link screamed

"Link, you're taking this a little too seriously. This won't make you an official hero. It'll only bring you closer to becoming an official hero. Now, stop being a butt head and save this korok already" The king of red lions said

"Butt head is a stupid insult, partner. Were you like trying to avoid swearing?"

"Yes, Chaos wants us to avoid swearing. So, she came up with some cheap excuse for an insult and told me to use that instead of a cuss word. Trust me, I'm not happy about it either"

"Screw Chaos! She has no power over us!"

All of a sudden, a random bolt of lightning came and struck Link. Link sighed.

"She does and always will," He said, "Hey look, it's a korok!"

He pointed to a short, chubby looking korok standing in the middle of the room, waving his short, stubby arms.

"Hello, hero. My name is Makar. Thank you for coming to my rescue. Allow me to play you a song in your honor!" He said taking out a violin

"Cool, there's no boss" Link said

All of a sudden, a deku baba showed up and swallowed the korok whole. Link only stared.

"Dude, that's cannibalism! You cough that little korok out right now, you demented plant!" Link screamed at him

The plant ignored him and covered himself up with a giant flower. Link glared at him.

"Oh, so that's how it's going to be! Well, bring it on!" He screamed

The plant started slapping Link senseless with it's sharp, long vines. Link, eventually stopping them, started doing the same. The king of red lions, watching from the gossip stone sighed.

"Link, use the boomerang! It's the dang main item of this dungeon!" He screamed

Link stopped and pulled the boomerang out, throwing it at the vines. It cut all the vines, but they instantly regenerated and stuck to the ceiling once again.

"It's not working, Link. What else do you have?" The king of red lions asked

"I've got two sticks" Link said

"What use is that?"

Link ignored him and started rubbing the two sticks together as fast as he could. The king of red lions didn't look amused and decided that it was about time for the unofficial hero to die anyway. All of a sudden, the two sticks set on fire and sent sparks flying around the room. The boss burst into flames and released Makar. Link caught him and looked around to see the room was setting on fire.

"Oh, hero. Thank you for saving me, but how will we escape this room alive?" Makar asked

"I've got an idea," He snapper his fingers and a light from the ceiling appeared next to him, "See? There's an escape light!"

"How on earth did you summon that?"

"I didn't, I knew that was coming. I just wanted you to think I had super magical powers"

Makar glared at him.

"Just enter the escape light before we burn to death" He said

Link took a quick step to the right and the pair disappeared as the room was engulfed in flames.

(Meanwhile in forest haven)

The koroks inside the island and the great deku tree were playing a game of cards, waiting for the hero to return with their dear friend.

"Anyone got any threes?" The deku tree asked

"You asked us that question three times already, master, and we all told you no. You are the only one who has threes. You literally have an entire hand of threes" One of the koroks said

"Oh, does anyone have any threes?"

"NO, MASTER, WE DON'T! NOW, STOP ASKING US THAT!" All the koroks screamed

All of a sudden, Link and Makar appeared in the middle of their little circle. Link looked around at the koroks.

"Oh, hi. I found your friend! And accidentally burnt down the entire forbidden woods" Link said

Everyone remained silent. Link began to worry.

"Did I do something wrong?" He asked

"Wrong? You did something beyond wrong" The deku tree said

"I'm sorry! Don't murder me! I have a life to live. I have so much more things I've always wanted to do with my life!"

"You did the bestest thing ever!"

"Tree, bestest isn't a word. You mean you did the best thing ever"

"It sounds funnier that way"

Link slapped a hand on his forehead and sighed heavily.

"Anyway, when does this festival of yours start?" He asked

"Now" The koroks said

Makar jumped from Link's hand to the Lilly pad located the center of the room and took out his violin.

"And to start off this fabulous festival, I will play a song in honor of our unofficial hero, Link!" He said

"Why do people keep saying unofficial hero? I am so a hero" Link said

"You keep telling yourself that, Link" Everyone else in the room said

Link pouted, crossing his arms, and sitting down in the center of the circle. Makar had just started to play his song in honor of him, while every other korok was now circling around Link wearing party hats.

"This really isn't necessary, guys. Running circles around me wearing party hats is actually kind of awkward" Link said

"Do not question the tradition of the koroks. Shun the non believer! Shun!" The koroks screamed, still ruining circles around Link.

Link sighed.

"Someone, kill me now" He sighed

All of a sudden, the violin music stopped. The koroks stopped running circles around him. Everyone, but Link, was starting upward.

"Here comes the great goddesses pearl" One of the koroks announced

Link looked up and smiled

"Well , that seems like a fine reward for this quest" He said

All of a sudden , he had a bad feeling something bad was about to happen.

"Why does it appear to be falling faster?" He asked

"Move, Link! MOVE!" Everyone else screamed

The pearl hit Link directly in the face, knocking him clean out. The koroks and their master stared at him in silence. They all looked up after a second.

"Party, anyone?" Makar asked

"Heck yeah!" Everyone else screamed

Everyone, but the deku tree, began dancing circles around, an out cold, Link. Clearly not noticing that he was knocked out.

(Thirty minutes later, outside the island)

"…What the heck? Where I am?" Link said sitting up

"Oh, you were knocked out by the goddesses pearl and, then, the korok proceeded to dance circles around your uncurious body" The king of red lions explained

"I was knocked out by a pearl?"

"Yes, you looked pretty stupid, but, hey, the koroks had fun"

"Screw the kor…"

The end! J

Well, that's the end of chapter three. I hope you all enjoyed it. And if you didn't, I would really prefer that you don't express your hate in the reviews. For those who do like it, review if you want to. I do accept constructive criticism. So, if you happen to see some things I need to work on, feel free to tell me! Anyway, I hope you liked it and see ya! J


	4. The wind temple

Hello ladies and gentlemen! It's me Chaos with a sort of late of update. I'm sorry that I didn't get to working on this sooner, but some things came up over the last few days. So, it's time for the fourth chapter of Link's misadventures in wind waker. I hope you enjoy this! J

Link's misadventures in wind waker: The wind temple

Link and the king of red lions were on the dock of windfall island, staring out into the ocean.

"Link, tell me why we're watching the ocean again" The king of red lions said to the unofficial hero

"Chaos didn't have any other ideas for the starting of this chapter and the ocean does look beautiful" Link said

"You are so out of character, Link. I don't think this is normal"

"This is a wind waker parody, king of red lions. It's okay to make characters out of character in a parody"

"Is it really? I don't think it is"

"Do you know what a parody is? It's a humorous story that makes fun of the game or whatever it is there writing a parody for. Making characters out of character just makes it funnier"

"Doesn't that mean that Chaos doesn't like wind waker?"

"No, she likes it. She just always wanted to write something for wind waker"

The king of red lions only stared at him.

"Aren't we supposed to be going somewhere?" The king of red lions

"Like where? Is it another dungeon? I don't like dungeons" Link said

"Link, suck it up," The king of red lions said, "We need to get into the wind temple and bring the master sword to it's former glory. That is the only way to save the princess"

"Come on, king of red lions. Can't we take a break? I had to do the earth temple last time. Do you know what happened in there?"

"Actually, no. Chaos hasn't done anything on the earth temple"

"Yet?"

"No, she hasn't mentioned anything about doing a chapter on that, and probably doesn't plan on telling us either"

"Well, whatever. Won't we need the iron boots and power bracelets?"

"Link, we already got those a long time ago"

"How? I don't remember getting them at all"

"Link, this a parody of wind waker. It's not supposed to make sense"

"Well than. Where do we go now?"

"To Gale island, in the northern great sea"

"Alright. Let's go get this over with"

(fifteen minutes later, at Gale island)

"So, we're here. What do we do now?" Link asked

"Link, how can you not see what you're supposed to do here?" The king of red lions

"I'm sort of portrayed as an idiot in this parody, can you really blame me for that?"

"You're not portrayed as an idiot, Link. You're more of a smart-ass kid"

"Dude, you just swore!"

"Chaos had no way of saying that without swearing"

"That's harsh! Now, tell me what to do"

The king of red lions sighed.

"Go pick up that rock, while wearing the iron boots" He said

"Cool, thanks" Link said

The king of red lions watched as Link went to pick up the rock.

"Link, I said wear the iron boots!" He screamed at him

All of a sudden, Link went flying past him screaming. The king of red lions stared at him, clearly not amused.

"I'm good" Link said, running past him

"Never mind. Chaos actually might be portraying him as an idiot" He said

(In the inside of Gale island)

Link looked around.

"King of red lions, this place looks empty. Are you sure this is the right location?" He asked his partner

"Yes, Gale island is the location of the wind temple. You just need to meet up with the deceased sage's sprit and learn the song that opens the entrance to the temple"

"Well, that doesn't sound easy at all. Do you know how hard that's going to be?"

Link turned to look at the pedestal with the song on it and screamed at the sight of a spirit standing in front of it.

"Hello, hero" The spirit said

"Hello," Link said, "Never mind ,he wasn't that hard to find"

"Link, you scream like a little girl" The king of red lions said

"Dude, why did you say that? We almost went two chapters without making that joke!"

"He is correct, hero. You do scream like a little girl" The spirit said

"Just shut up, dude. Anyway, you are?" Link asked him

"My name is Fado. I am the currently deceased sage of wind"

"Oh, are you going to teach me this song to reach the entrance to the temple?"

"Yes, but you must find someone with the same instrument as me and I guarantee that this will be a challenge indeed"

"It's Makar, isn't it?"

"What? How in heck did you know that?"

"He's literally the only other person with a violin in this game. It's pretty obvious"

"Well, I will teach you the song of winds, or whatever it's called, when you return here with Makar"

"Aren't you supposed to teach me the song first?"

"Yes, but I don't feel like it now"

"Well than"

(5 and half seconds later, at forest haven)

"Weren't we here last chapter?" Link asked

"Yes, but we need to find Makar and drag him to Gale island with us" The king of red lions said

"Chaos isn't going in chronological order, isn't she?"

"No, she probably wouldn't update as often if she did it that way"

"So, is Makar inside the island?"

"No, he's in the waterfall this time. Can't you hear his music from here?"

"No, because I'm here talking to you"

"That's rude, Link"

"Whatever"

(Inside the water fall, three minutes later)

Link sighed as he rung out his out his hat and put it back on again. He approached the small korok.

"Oh, hello hero! Didn't we just see each other last chapter?" He asked him

"Yes, we just went over this outside. Listen, I need you to come with me" Link said

"And where will we be going?"

"To Gale island"

"Oh, I get it. You need to bring me to Gale island so that you can learn the wind god's aria and access the wind temple to power up the master sword to it's former glory"

"How the heck did you know that?"

"I peaked in the strategy guide before this chapter. I was originally going to hide on top of the great Deku tree to confuse you, but he ordered me to follow the strategy guide and go inside this waterfall"

"Well than, are you coming or not?"

"I'll meet you outside"

The korok suddenly vanished into thin air. Link looked around in panic before shrugging and making his way outside. He approached the boat to see Makar sitting on the king of red lion's head.

"I'm not going to bother to figure out how you just did that" Link said

"It's a secret to everyone" The king of red lions and Makar said

Link only sighed and played the ballad of gales. He looked around in panic when nothing happened.

"Why didn't that work?" He asked his two partners

"Oh, you cannot use the ballad of gales when I'm with you" Makar answered

"So, I have to sail to Gale island?"

"Yes, Link. You have to sail to Gale island" The king of red lions

"Oh, shitake mushrooms!"

(about twenty minutes later, at Gale island)

Link carried Maker into Gale island, an annoyed look on his face.

"Hello, hero. I see you have returned here with the one you call Makar" Fado said

"Yes, I have. Now teach us the wind god's aria already!" Link snapped at him

"You appear to be very annoyed, hero. Has something bothered you?"

"It took me almost twenty minutes to sail here. I wasn't allowed to use the ballad of gales with Makar on the ship. And now that you mention it, it bothers me how you keep referring to me as hero"

"Excuse me, hero. That is just how I talk. If it bothers you, than I will leave and let you learn the song yourself"

"I don't think that's what he meant" Makar said

"No, that's exactly what I meant" Link said

"Fine, hero. Than I will leave. Good luck, learning that song without me!"

The spirit faded away. Makar only stared at Link.

"Link, how on earth are we going to learn the wind god's aria now?" He asked him

"I don't know, but it was sure fun annoying the sage though" Link responded

"That is the meanest thing I have heard you say, Link. No wonder you're the unofficial hero"

"Hey, I'm a hero. Just not a very good one!"

"Hey, I don't mean to interrupt your great conversation, but don't you have a song to learn?" The king of red lions asked them

"Yes, but now we have no way of learning it" Makar said

The king of red lions gave an annoyed sigh.

"Look at the rock behind you" He said

The pair turned and looked at the rock.

"Oh, the song is on the rock. How did we miss that?" Link asked

"Maybe we were so distracted that we didn't notice it" Makar suggested

"Oh, well. We have a song to learn"

(After learning the song, they entered the wind temple)

"Link, welcome to the wind temple" Makar said

"Hey, that was my line!" The king of red lions said

"Deal with it. So, Link what do you think?"

"It looks like the forbidden woods, only underground and not on an island next to another island" Link said

"Well, you'll notice that this is not the same, but quite similar. Anyway, do you care to get started?"

"Whatever gets this done fastest"

(Somewhere in another area of the temple)

"Link, do you see any way up?' Makar asked

"No, but I have a feeling that we need the main item of this temple" Link said

"What makes you think that?"

"This happens in every game in legend of Zelda. Are you some kind of idiot?"

"No, I am certainly not! Now, I am going to go plant some seeds in those small spots of land over there"

"Is that exactly safe?"

Makar was already planting the last of his seeds before Link could finish his sentence.

"Makar, this seems like a really bad idea. And how on earth do does trees grow so fast?" Link asked

"I don't know the answer to that. The great deku tree says that it's a secret to everybody, but him" Makar explained

"I am not surprised about that answer"

The tree sprouted next to him. The pair remained silent for several minutes.

"See, nothing happened" Makar said

"Thank goodness, because I thought a floor or wall master was going to come and take you for no reason at all"

All of a sudden, a circle of floor (or wall) masters appeared around Makar.

"Hello, little plant guy" They all said

"Who the heck are you people?" Makar asked him

"We are the floor (or wall) masters. We have come to kidnap you for no reason in particular"

"Do I get a say in this?"

"No, I'm afraid not"

One of the wall (or floor) masters grabbed the korok and disappeared into thin air. The others did as well. Link, who was very mad, stood there in silence.

"I cannot believe I just said that!" He screamed

He sighed and angrily began kicking the wall.

(In the room with the fan on the bottom)

"I cannot believe I jinxed it!," Link whined, "Now I have to go find him"

"Stop whining, Link. He isn't that hard to find" The king of red lions said

Link sighed and took the deku leaf out from his pocket. He jumped and let the fan take him to one of the platforms on the other side of the room.

"This is going to take forever to find him" Link said, landing on the platform

He climbed up onto a piece of land and sighed, looking around.

"Now how can I find him?" Link wondered

Link thought about for a second, and then grinned.

"I have the perfect idea!," Link said, "Marco!"

"Link, that'll never work," The king of red lions said, "That is too stupid to work"

"Polo!" Makar said

Link grinned.

"Oh, it didn't work? Because it looks like it did work" Link said

"Why is that whenever I question one of your ideas, it somehow works?" The king of red lions

"I don't know, but I need to locate Makar"

"Turn around, Link" Makar said

Link turned around to see that Makar was trapped in a cage like structure. He grinned and ran up to him

"I found you! How did you get in there?" Link asked

"The group of wall (or floor) masters threw me in here and then proceeded to cover the entrance with that giant rock" Makar explained

"Oh, well. I can move it. All I need to do is pick it up with the power bracelets on"

"It doesn't work like that, Link. You need someone or something about the weight of great deku tree to lift that thing"

"Can't I just wear the iron boots and lift it up"

"No, according to the strategy guide, you have to get the main item of this dungeon and equip the iron boots"

"Well, where can I get the main item of this dungeon?"

"You have to jump down when the fan stops and defeat some wizzrobes"

"Oh, that doesn't sound hard at all!"

(Later, in that same area)

Link climbed back up, beaten up and bruised, and appeared to be beyond annoyed.

"Oh my goodness, Link. What happened to you? I thought you were just going to get the main item" Makar said

"I was, but it wasn't as easy I thought it was"

"They were just wizzrobes"

"Three wizzrobes! They were all blasting me at the same time! It was beyond crazy! I think I think I almost got three game overs, but I still got the item"

"How do you plan on moving the rock?"

"Isn't it obvious? I'm going to stand here and use this hookshot to pull it off"

"Isn't that dangerous?"

"No, trust me, it's safe"

Before Makar could say another word, Link already had the iron boots on and was about to shoot the hookshot. Makar sighed and decided not to tell him what could go wrong.

"You just watch. Nothing could go wrong!" Link said

He shot the hookshot and soon noticed that the rock was about to hit him.

"Oh, crap" He said

(Bang!)

Makar walked out of the caged area and stared at the stone, that had previously crushed Link. He tried to push the rock off of him, but saw no results.

"This is going to take a while, isn't it?" Makar asked the king of red lions

"Yes, it is" He responded

(Way later, in front of the boss door)

Link and Makar stared up at the door. Makar seemed pleased that they got that far in the first place, but Link seemed really mad.

"What is wrong, Link? Is something bothering you?" He asked him

"Yes, this entire temple is! I was forced to go search for you after some floor (or wall) masters kidnapped you" Link started

"But that wasn't hard"

"Shut up. And then I was beaten up by a group of wizzrobes!"

"Three against one is a little unfair"

"Then I was crushed by a rock and left there for almost thirty minutes while you and the king of red lions struggled to remove it"

"Well, In our defense, I'm pretty small and the king of red lions has no arms"

"And worse of all, the mini boss drove me crazy"

"What was so bad about them? It was only two darknuts"

"They were ganging up on me! One of them kept telling me that green is a gay color! The other one kept throwing his sword at me. He almost hit me seven times"

"Yeah, but the boss can't be as bad, can't it?"

"I don't think so, but it's about time to find out!"

(In the boss chamber)

Link and Makar just stared in shock at the boss as it flew around them.

"This boss is crazy" Link said

"It can't be the craziest thing you've ever seen" Makar said

"Actually, it is. This is a wind temple and the boss is a worm thing that hides in sand! I don't get how this related to anything in the dungeon!"

"Well, of least it makes up for that. It has good attacks that are somewhat hard to dodge and no obvious weak point at all"

"That's true, but I prefer bosses with easily dodge able attacks and obviously located weak points. Why do you think all the eye ball bosses are easy? There weak point is literally the eye!"

The worm dug back into the sand, appearing in front of the pair.

"Hello, hero of winds. My name is Molgera, the boss of this temple. I am here to make sure that you don't power the master sword and defeat my master, Ganondorf" The boss said

"Don't you mean Ganondork or even Ganondouche?" Link asked

"No, his name is Ganondorf. My master does not deserve to be called those things. He is the best person I know"

"He does act like a douche" Makar added

Everything went silent. The boss appeared to be very annoyed at the pair.

"Did we anger you?" Link asked

"Are you some kind of idiot? Of course you angered me!"

"Well, if you're mad enough to eat one of us. I think you should eat Makar first"

"What? Why did you have to volunteer me? I don't want to get eaten!" Makar screamed

"I'm the hero of winds! I need to stay alive and defeat Ganondork!"

"Link," Molgera interrupted, "I would rather eat you"

"What? Why me?" Link screamed

"I'm a carnivore, not a plant eater!"

"What's a carnivore?"

"A meat eating organism" Makar answered

"Oh, thank you. Please don't eat me, Mr. Boss. I have a life to live!" Link begged

"Hero of winds, you appear to act like a baby. Perhaps eating you would be pointless, because you have no chance of defeating Ganondorf'"Well, that was a little bit unnecessary. By the way, does your weak point happen to be your tongue? It looks kind of suspicious"

"Yes, but you have no chance of defeating me!"

"What would happen if I pulled out your tongue with my hookshot?"

"I would explode and open up the power that your master sword needs"

Everything got silent.

"You are aware that you just told Link how to defeat you, right?" Makar asked the boss

"I did? Dang it!" Molgera said

"You're an idiot"

"Shut up, Plant"

Link, all of a sudden, shot the hookshot at his tongue and pulled it out. The boss exploded, draining all the sand in the room. A light appeared in the room. Link pulled out the master sword and placed it into the light.

"Link, play the wind god's aria and power the master sword!" Makar said

"Yeah, about that. I forgot the entire song already" Link said

"Didn't we use it throughout the temple?"

"Yes, but my memory sucks"

"Well, than. You're lucky I have the strategy guide on me"

"Sweet!"

(Later, outside of Gale island)

Link walked out of the island to see the king of red lions talking to the fish that marks islands down on his maps.

"So, you've been traveling around with him through various dungeons for a while now, correct?" The fish asked the boat

"Yes and, I've got to say, it sucks" The king of red lions says

"It sounds like it sucks. I mean, you're alone here until Link is done in the dungeon and when he comes back, it's just annoying"

"I know right?"

Link approached them and stared at the pair.

"Oh, hello Link," The fish said, "How much of the sea chart do you have filled out?"

"I literally only have six islands marked" Link answered

"Why is that, my friend?"

"I don't want to waste ten rupees on all purpose bait and I don't have the patience to go and mark down every island I encounter"

"Wouldn't that make you cheap and lazy?"

"Yes, it would, but I don't care. I'm saving my rupees for something important and I still have yet to find out where Aryll is"

"Link, the pirates have her" The king of red lions said

"Well, if grandma finds out about that, I'll be in a lot of trouble. She would never approve of Aryll being raised by pirates"

"Well, someone has to watch her and you're on an adventure to rescue princess Zelda"

The pair looked to see if the fish was still there. They weren't surprised to see that he left.

"So, what were you and that fish talking about when I was gone?" Link asked him

"Oh, he asked how the adventure was going" The king of red lions

"Were you telling him about all those moments where I did something stupid?"

"Yes, is that bad?"

"Yes, very bad"

The hero glared at his partner.

"Oh, Link. Bomb incoming" The king of red lions said

"I don't trust a word you say anymore," Link said looking up, noticing a bomb coming his way, "Oh, crap!"

Game over!

Well, that's it for this chapter. I decided not to count how many times the fourth wall gets broken anymore, because it seems like a break it a lot and I don't feel like counting that anymore. Anyway, thank you for reading and I hope you enjoyed this! Review if you did and feel free to inform me of anything I could improve on. Constructive criticism is welcome, but bad reviews aren't appreciated by me. And by bad reviews, I mean reviews that say "This story sucks" or etc.

Anyway, I hope you all enjoyed this! See ya! J


	5. The golden bomb ship

**Hello people! It's me, Chaos, and I'm here with the fifth chapter of Link's misadventures in wind waker. Thanks to all the people who reviewed the previous chapters and even told me of some mistakes that I have been making. I really appreciate that and am so glad that you guys are enjoying this. Anyway, I don't want to spend most of this thing talking about unnecessary stuff, so let's get on to chapter five! If you like it, feel free to leave a review and, if I happen to make any more mistakes, leave some constructive criticism. Even if anyone has any ideas on how I could improve, please feel free to tell me. Anyway, I hope you all enjoy this!**

Link's misadventures in wind waker: The golden bomb ship

"Hey, King of red lions, do you think that princess Zelda is safe where ever she is?" Link asked his partner.

"Link, she's been taken captive by Ganondorf," The ship responded, "I seriously doubt that she's safe"

"Oh, come on. Ganondorf doesn't seem like a dangerous guy. He's just a douche"

"Link, do you not remember him having his bird chuck you off the highest point of the forsaken fortress?"

"Yes, but he could of done so much worst"

"No, Link, there is nothing worse than being tossed off the forsaken fortress thousands of miles of away in the middle of the ocean"

"Whatever you say, King of red lions. Why did we start it out like this anyway?"

"Chaos didn't make this up, remember?"

"Why's that?"

"She said that every time she makes something up for the beginning that we always break the fourth wall"

"Didn't we just break the fourth, like, several times in that conversation?"

"Yes, Link, we did, but it's still not as often as in the last chapter"

"Oh, that one. I think she literally shattered it last chapter"

"Link, stop breaking the fourth wall and get serious. We have a very important mission today"

Link groaned.

"We have another job to do? Why can't I just get a break?" Link whined.

"Yes, Link, we have another job. Heroes do get breaks, but this isn't the time for one. We have to rescue princess Zelda from Ganondorf before the entirety of the Great Sea and Hyrule are taken over by that madman" The king of red lions responded.

"Please, I really want to take a break. I'm the hero of winds! I deserve a break!"

"Stop being a whiney boy and take this seriously. This might be a parody, but we still need to accomplish something in each chapter!"

"We didn't accomplish anything the first chapter. So, technically, that's not true"

"Link, what did I tell in the beginning of this chapter?"

"I know, don't break the fourth wall, I'm sorry"

"Good, now, we need to discuss this mission of ours"

Link groaned again.

"Link, we are not having this discussion again. You are a hero and your job is to help people. Deal with it" The king of red lions snapped at him.

"Fine. Explain the mission already" Link whined

"Our job, today, is to find the golden bomb ship and retrieve the triforce chart from it"

"A golden bomb ship? Those exist?"

"Yes, Link., but only one is present in the Great Sea. Every other one is found somewhere else in the world"

"King of red lions, do you not remember the last incident with a bomb ship?"

"Actually, yes, I do and it was quite hilarious"

Link only glared at the ship in anger.

"That is the meanest thing you have said to me" Link stated.

"Link, get a sense of humor, lots of things have happened to you throughout this adventure and you may not think it's funny, but others do" The king of red lions explained.

"That is still the meanest thing I have ever heard, but anyway where is this golden bomb ship we're supposed to be looking for?"

"It's located on the northwest corner of Needle Rock isles. It won't be easy, but we need to retrieve the triforce and defeat Ganondorf"

"And rescue princess Zelda"

"Yes, and that to"

(Ten minutes later, at Needle Rock isles)

Link and King of red lions looked around for the golden bomb ship.

"So, where this golden bomb ship?" Link asked his partner,

"I'm not exactly sure, but I know it's here" The king of red lions said.

Link only stared behind them. The king of red lions, realizing something was wrong, turned to look and sighed at the sight of an incoming bomb.

"This doesn't surprise me at all" The king of red lions stated.

"I think this is almost a running gag. One I don't like!" Link sighed.

The pair sighed, knowing that the bomb was going to hit them anyway. The pair was soon covered in ash from the bomb that previously hit them.

"This isn't the least bit amusing" Link said.

"Once again, Link, it is to others" The king of red lions said.

"Why do I have a feeling that everything is about to blow up in our faces?"

"I don't know, Link. Maybe it's because we're literally surrounded by a trio of bomb ships!" The king of red lions screamed .

Link looked around to see that they were really surrounded by a trio of bomb ships. One of them was the gold one that they set out to look for in the first place.

"Hello bomb ships. I hope that you're not considering blowing us up, because we have some other incidents with bomb ships and I would prefer not to repeat them" Link explained.

"Listen, kid. We're bomb ships. That's our job and you have entered our island" The golden one said

"This isn't your island!"

"Our island!" The three bomb ships screamed at once

"You guys are officially crazy, but listen to us. We need the triforce chart to rescue the princess of Hyrule, Zelda, and I would prefer to have no violence in this at all. So, please just give us the trifoce chart and we'll leave your island"

"Link, they're not going to listen to you. They're bomb ships" The king of red lions said

"Listen to your ship, kid. We are the bomb ship trio and I am their leader, the great,,,,!"

"Let me guess, your name is bob?" Link asked

"No," The golden bomb ship said, "That's bob, right there"

Link glared at the bomb ship, who happened to have a B painted on one of his sides.

"Hello, Link. It's nice to see you again," Bob said, "Have you retrieved the octo chart yet?"

"No, but I still hate you. Does that count for anything?" Link asked him.

"No. That's just harsh, man"

The golden bomb quickly shut the pair up by shooting a bomb into the air.

"Listen, there is no fighting in front of the great Francis!" The gold bomb ship cried.

The group remained silent for several minutes. All of a sudden, Link and his partner burst out laughing. The three bomb ships stared in anger at them, getting there cannons ready. Their laughter slowly stopped as they noticed the three bomb ships aiming at them.

"Oh, that was a bad idea," The king of red lions said, "I am so sorry about that, but Francis just doesn't sound like a name for a bomb ship"

"And it is quire hilarious" Link added

"Listen, kid. My parents named me, Francis, and I am proud to be known as Francis! So, shut up or face my wrath!" The golden bomb ship cried.

Link went silent and stared at the three ships in horror. He slowly shrunk down and hid from the three bomb ships. The king of red lions sighed.

"Listen, bomb ships. I apologize for my friend's behavior," He started, "He is a bit of an idiot. Francis is a wonderful name and I'm pretty sure everyone you meet thinks that as well"

The three bomb ships glared at him. The king of red lions, clearly nervous, looked around in panic.

"So, we never heard the name of the last one," He said, "What is his name?"

"Oh, his name is Derp" Bob answered.

The king of red lions only stared at them.

"His name is Derp? Is that even a name?" The king of red lions asked.

"In this world it is," Derp answered, "I doubt it would be considered a name anywhere else"

"Yea, I seriously doubt that to"

The ships glared at them once again. The king of red lions sighed.

"Can we make a deal or something? I can do something for you and, in return, you can give us the triforce chart?" The king of red lions asked.

The three bomb ships put there cannons away.

"Keep talking" Francis said

"Well, how about you can have a couple of free blows at Link and then you can give us the triforce chart?" The king of red lions suggested.

"That won't do, my friend. We have something else in mind" Bob said.

"I thought Francis was the leader?"

"He is, but we all think alike. We are bomb ships after all" Derp answered.

"And you all scare me"

"I know right?" They all said in unison.

Link slowly sat back up and looked around at the bomb ships.

"Have we worked out a deal yet?" He asked.

'No, but I bet you two would like to hear what it would take to get that triforce chart" Francis said.

"Actually, yes, I would like to hear that" The pair of heroes said.

"Good. I would like you to allow me to blow up your hero here with the biggest bomb in our supply. I request that he be tied to something to prevent him from escaping the blast and then I will give you your triforce chart" Francis explained

The pair of heroes stared at them. Link was about to pull the sail out of his pocket and make a run for it, but the king of red lions glared at him as he was about to equip it.

"Is that the only way you'll let us take the chart?" The king of red lions asked.

"Yes" The three bombs said in unison.

The king of red lions sighed, but nodded. Link looked deeply offended.

"Why are you just allowing them to blast me with the biggest bomb in their arsenal? I thought you were my friend?" Link screamed in his partner's face.

"Link, we're partners. We're not really friends. We just happened to meet up with one another on Windfall island and are now working together to defeat Ganondorf and save princess Zelda" The king of red lions responded.

"That is one of the meanest things you have ever said to me"

"Yes, but this is also the only way that they'll give up the triforce chart!"

Link considered it for a second and then glared at his partner.

"Fine, but I still hate you making me do this" Link said with his arms crossed.

"Good, bomb ships, are you all ready?" The king of red lions asked the trio

"Yes, but first I want to restrain to your friend to prevent him from escaping" The three bomb ships said in unison.

"Why are you three talking in unison?" Link asked them.

"Because we are bomb ships and we all think alike" They said in unison once again.

"This is going to take a lot of getting used to" The king of red lions sighed.

(Fifteen minutes later)

The four ships just finished, somehow, restraining the hero. Link, looking extremely annoyed, sighed and glared at the four ships.

"Link, just relax. The bomb can't be that big" The king of red lions reassured.

"Well, actually, about that" The three bomb ships said.

The pair of heroes stared in horror at the bomb. Link looked like he was bout to be sick and the king of red lions looked shocked, and surprised, at the size of the bomb.

"How the heck can you guys even carry that?" The pair screamed.

"That's a long, annoying story" The three ships said.

"Can you stop talking in unison like that?" The pair screamed.

"We are not permitted to stop this and you two just did the same thing" They responded.

The pair of heroes looked at each other and sighed.

"Just shoot the dang bomb" They said.

"Whatever you say" The three bomb ships said.

They waited anxiously as the bomb flew at the hero of winds. Link was about to scream, but was cut off by the explosion. The ships stared in horror at the size of the explosion.

"I didn't think the explosion was going to be that big" Bob said.

"I think we just literally blew up the entire island" Derp said

"Oops. We should of thought this through" Francis said.

"Can we have the triforce chart already?" The king of red lions asked them.

"As promised, you may have your triforce chart" The three ships said.

Bob launched the triforce chart at the king of red lions, which landed perfectly on the place where Link usually sat. The king of red lions nodded to them.

"Farewell, talking boat. Maybe you can come and play some cards with us one night?" Francis said.

The king of red lions thought about it for a second.

"Sure," He said happily, "How about this Saturday?"

"Sounds good," The three bomb ships said, "We'll mark that on our calendar"

"And there talking in unison again!"

(At Windfall island)

Link woke up to see the King of red lions staring down at him. He sat and glared at him.

"Are those bomb ships gone?" He asked him.

"Yes and we did get the triforce chart"

"That's great, but we're never going to see them again, right?"

"About that"

"What did you do?"

"I told them that I would go and play cards with them this Saturday night"

"You traitor! I will mur…."

(That Saturday)

The king of red lions and the trio of bomb ships were playing poker on a table, that somehow appeared out of nowhere, in the middle of the ocean. Since the island that was there was blown up. The king of red lions glared at them and placed his hand down.

"I've got a pair of kings," He said, "What about you?"

The three bomb ships placed their hands down.

"Full house!" They said all together

"HOW THE HECK DO YOU KEEP DOING THAT?!" The king of red lions cried

(The end)

**Well, that's it for chapter five! I hope you all enjoyed it! Again, if you notice anything I can improve on please tell me. This one was a lot of fun to write and I just loved coming up with the names of the bomb ships. If you liked it, feel free to leave a review. If you don't, just get lost. See ya! **

**BTW****, this one is actually shorter than the others, but I hope you stil llke it otherwise! :)**


	6. The earth temple

**Hello Ladies and gentlemen! First of all, I want to apologize about last chapter. I feel that's it not's as long or funny as the others. I'm sorry if anyone was unsatisfied with that chapter and plan on improving on it later. Second of all, this chapter is brought to you by Medli! Medli, because this is her first appearance in this story! I hope you enjoy this chapter! J**

**Link's Misadventures in Wind Waker: The Earth Temple**

The king of red lions was docked under where he first met Link, having a nice conversation with his little fish friend.

"So, what you're saying is, Legend of Zelda is better than Mario will ever be?" The fish asked the king of red lions.

"Yes, that's what exactly what I'm saying. Mario is a game about an Italian plumber, in a land known as Mushroom Kingdom, who jumps in and out pipes to rescue Princess Toadstool from the clutches of a psychotic mad turtle that can breath fire. Where's the logic in that?" The king of red lions responded.

"There is no logic, but look at Wind Waker! It's about a boy, from a small island, on his birthday. Than his birthday gets ruined by a giant bird with a pirate ship chasing it. The boy than goes to rescue his sister, who has been captured and mistaken for the princess, and gets thrown thousands of miles away where he is saved by a talking boat and forced to save the great sea"

The pair went silent.

"Touché, my friend" The king of red lions said.

"Mario will always be the best. He is Nintendo's mascot for din's sake!" The fish cried.

"I didn't really ask for a life's story"

"I'm not telling you my life story though. Why do you hate me?"

"I don't hate you. That's just a way of saying that we don't have time for a long story"

"Or you just don't care to hear it"

"That to"

The pair glared at one another for several silent minutes.

"Hey," The fish said, "Did you notice that both Zelda and Mario both have the save the princess gimmick?"

The king of red lions only continued to glare at him before going into deep thought.

"I guess I haven't noticed that before," He said, "I guess that makes Mario a little better, but Zelda is still better"

The fish slapped the king of red lions across the face with his fin before going back under and swimming away from him.

"I guess I ticked him off," The king of red lions said, "Sweet, I'm alone now!"

All of a sudden, he heard the sounds of Link's screams coming toward him. He sighed and peered out of the area to see Link running toward him. Link slid to a stop in front of him, panting.

"We need to go get whatever it is we need to do done with NOW!" He screamed.

"Are you starting to get serious about this quest or did you manage to tick off a lot of people on this island?" The king of red lions asked his partner.

"The second one, but it's not that many people"

"What did you do?!"

"I broke into Maggie's house and shattered all her father's antique vases, broke into the shop when the guy wasn't watching and stole twenty rupees, hit of least twenty or more people with my arrows for no reason and shattered all the windows on Windfall Island"

"How on earth did you do that all? That seems quite impossible"

"No, it's possible, you just need an idiot like me and anything is possible!"

The king of red lions glared at him, motioning him to enter him. Link quickly jumped into the boat and pulled the wind waker out of his pocket, playing the ballad of gales. The king of red lions realized something just as the twister was about to appear.

"Link, we're docked under that land with the dancing guy on it!" He screamed.

"Who cares? That guy is annoying anyway!" Link said.

The king of red lions knew that Link's, already bad, reputation was about to get ten times worse than it was now, but he decided not to bother with it and let Link face the consequences. Link looked down to see that the twister had destroyed the piece of land that the dancing guy was on. He thought about it for a second, but than innocently looked away from the "accident". The guy rose out of the pile of rubble.

"Screw you! What kind of hero are you?" He screamed.

(Meanwhile on Outset Island)

"Why did we warp here? I Thought I set it so we would warp to Great Fish?" Link wondered.

"No, I decide where we go" The king of red lions stated.

"So, I just play the music and you actually decide where we go? Isn't that unfair?"

"No, because I'm the elder here. You're just the twelve year old that I have to work with in order to save the Great Sea"

"Well, that does make sense, but I still don't see why I can't where we go"

"Link, you're an irresponsible twelve year old. I can't trust you to know where to go"

"I am not irresponsible!"

"Look what you did to Windfall!"

"Oops. Than never mind, I am"

The pair looked around in silence.

"Where are we supposed to go anyway?" Link asked his partner.

"To headstone island," He responded, "We need to meet up with the sage of earth, Laruto, and learn what it is were supposed to do next"

"Please don't me tell that this is the Earth Temple"

"Why? What would you do if I did?"

"Scream, jump off this ship and swim to Outset"

"And than what?"

"And hide from you! And those dang redeads!"

"Link, you have to deal with this eventually"

"Can't I deal with this later? I want some time to screw around"

"No, shut up before I call those bomb ships"

"Fine"

(ten minutes later, at headstone island)

The pair stopped on shore of the island and looked around.

"So, this is Headstone Island?" Link asked.

All of a sudden, a random bomb landed next to them. The pair stared at one another.

"Is that going to blow?" Link asked.

"Yes. NOW RUN, because I can't" The king of red lions said.

Link ran out of the ship and jumped behind a rock on the island, expecting the bomb to explode and cover his friend with black ash. The king of red lions closed his eyes in horror and waited for the boom, but nothing came. He opened his eyes and looked down at the bomb. All of a sudden, the bomb fell apart in front of him. The king of red lions raised an eyebrow and looked at the piece of paper that was inside it.

"Welcome to Headstone Island," He read aloud, "I'm a glad that you made it this far. Please take this red rupee as your reward"

Link climbed out from behind the rock and approached his partner. He clearly wasn't amused.

"What monstrosity could of fooled us with this?" He cried.

All of a sudden, a bomb ship appeared next to them.

"Hello!" It said.

"Oh, you. Let me guess, you're Bob?" The king of red lions asked.

"No, it's me Derp. Remember me? I'm one of Francis's friends" The ship explained.

"Yes, we remember you, but why did you give us this note and twenty rupees? I thought you hated us?" Link said confused.

"The note was to congratulate you for making it this far. The earth temple is known for it's bleak darkness, dark enemies and it's redead army that they secretly store away for unknown reasons" Derp explained.

"Did you just say redeads?"

"Yes, Link, he did"

Link was almost frozen. The two ships stared at the boy.

"Is he okay? He looks a little frozen" Derp asked.

"He's afraid of redeads" The king of red lions said.

"Oh, that was probably a bad thing to mention than. Sorry"

"No, it's fine. I'll handle him. You should get going now before this gets violent"

"Whatever you say"

The bomb ship sailed away.

(twenty minutes later, inside Headstone island)

Link entered the island, beaten up, to see the spirit of Laruto standing right in front of the headstone.

"What on earth happened to you? I thought you were just outside?" Laruto asked.

"I was just outside," Link explained, "We ran into a stupid bomb ship who told that redeads were in there and that ended with the king of red lions and I getting into a really violent fist fight"

"But he's a boat. How the heck can he fight back?"

"That's a long stupid story"

"That's quite unusual. Anyway, you must learn the song to access to earth temple by bringing the new sage of earth to me. She can be seen using the same instrument as me"

"Let me guess, Medli is the new sage of earth?"

"How the hell did you know that? I thought no one knew that!"

"She is the only person in this game who has a harp. It was pretty obvious"

"Well than! I bet you don't know where to find her"

"She's on Dragon Roost Island, standing on the cliff overlooking the ocean. She also happens to be playing her harp"

"Okay, I give up, you know more than I do"

"Yay"

Link turned to walk out of the island, but turned around.

"Hey, I have a question" He said.

"Yes, Link?" Laruto responded.

"Why is Medli the sage of earth? Wouldn't it make more sense if Makar was?"

"Yes, Link, It would make more sense. This game doesn't make any sense in that case. Makar is even the sage of winds and that makes even less sense"

"That is weird and I have one more thing to say"

"And what is that, Link?"

"SPOILER ALERT! You're supposed to say that before saying a spoiler!"

"Oops"

"Gosh, you're an idiot"

(fifteen minutes later, at Dragon Roost)

Link, panting, finally climbed the last stair to reach the cliff overlooking the sea. He groaned and approached the girl.

"Oh, Hello Link," She said, "May I help you with something?"

"How dare you make me climb all those stairs!" Link screamed at her.

"Excuse me?"

"I had to walk up all those stairs to get here! I am so tired of stairs. Everyone body thinks that I can handle it, because I'm the hero. But I can't! I HATE STAIRS AND I HATE THE RITO RACE FOR PUTTING THOSE THERE!"

He took several deep breaths. Medli only stared at him,

"I'm sorry that you had to go through that ordeal, Link, but those were just put in by our architect. He insisted on putting those stairs there, no one else wanted them. There's something seriously wrong with him" Medli explained.

"Why didn't you stop him?!" Link asked.

"He's crazy. No one on this island is dumb enough to attempt to talk him out of anything"

"He is on drugs or something?"

"No one knows"

"Wow. How did you get up here before this?"

"Oh, we took that path over there," She pointed to the right, "All you really had to do was go through the main area and take the door outside. You could of just used the graphling hook and made it over here much faster"

"But you don't have a graphling hook. How did you get up here?"

"Oh, I took the elevator," She pointed over to the elevator, "No one ever notices it"

"I hate you," Link said, "Anyway, I need you to come with me. We need to go learn the earth god's lyric and enter the Earth Temple"

"What if I don't want to?"

"You have no choice in the matter. I am the hero and I demand that you come with me"

"But I don't want to"

"Listen, Medli. I will get you to come. Even if I have to pick you up and carry you to the temple myself!"

"You wouldn't dare do that. You're a gentlemen and that you would never do that"

(Two and half seconds later)

Medli was falling off the cliff screaming, while Link was holding her.

"I can't believe you just voluntarily jumped off that cliff!" Medli screamed,

"I had to get you to come somehow! This was the only way I could think of!" Link screamed back.

"You could of just said please"

"Please is for pussies!"

The king of red lions was sitting, staring into the beautiful ocean view.

"This is the most wonderful thing I have seen all day. Nothing could ruin this for me. I've got silence, no annoying twits, a beautiful ocean and some shade. Nothing, absolutely nothing could ruin this" The king of red lions said.

All of a sudden, Link and Medli fell from the sky and landed perfectly on him. He sighed.

"You actually got Medli?" He asked his partner.

"Yeah, it wasn't easy, but I got her!" Link responded.

"Yeah, I can see that. You literally just fell from the sky!"

"He jumped off a cliff with me!" Medli screamed.

"Yeah, that's nice Medli" Link and his partner said.

(Later at the earth temple)

Link walked in, literally, dragging Medli in with him.

"Let me go! I can't do this! I'm just a girl! I don't deserve this!" Medli screamed.

"Listen, Medli. As much as I would love to ditch you, I can't. If you leave, I get trapped in here for eternity and then I won't have any chance of escape" Link explained.

"If that's what happens, then I want to leave. The Great Sea could use a better hero anyway"

"I don't want to be left in here! I'm only twelve years old! I have a life to live and I don't want to end it being trapped in here for eternity!"

"Why not? It seems nice in here"

"Look around. This place is infested with monsters! This room is literally guarded by a bunch of moblins!"

"Moblins aren't that bad. They seem like nice people"

"They aren't nice people, Medli. They are jerks who whack people with their unusually large sticks. They aren't friendly at all!"

Medli didn't say anything. Link took this as a warning to look around. He looked to see that the moblins had all formed a circle around the pair.

"This is the probably the worst possible thing that could of happened to us" Link said.

"What do you mean? This could be worse, We could be surrounded by a circle of redeads" Medli said.

"That's true, but how do we get around these guys without being killed?"

"That's an easy one. We just take one of their weapons," Medli proceeded to kick one the moblins in the head and take his weapon, "and do a spin attack. That'll take care of all them"

"Couldn't I have just done that with the master sword? It is the master sword after all"

"Yes, but it's not at full power and this weapon is much better than that peace of metal you have there"

"This is a legendary sword though"

"Shut up and let the master handle this" She proceeded to do a spin attack and send the group of moblins flying all over the room.

"That didn't even kill them!"

"So? It gives us a chance to run"

"That makes us look like wimps!"

"No, it doesn't. We just run from fights every once in a while. It's not a big deal"

"Right? Than explain why the moblins are getting up and running at us"

"I don't know how to explain, but I have an idea"

"What?"

"RUN!"

Medli proceeded to run out of the room screaming like a banshee. Link looked around before following her.

(In the mirror room of the temple)

"Medli, that was the worst experience of my life!" Link screamed.

"What do you mean? We avoided every enemy in the dungeon and get all the important dungeon items on the way though" Medli responded.

"That's exactly it! Unlike the last dungeons I did, we literally ran through the majority of this one! Do you know what Legend of Zelda fans everywhere are going to think about me?"

"Actually no, I don't"

"They'll think I'm a wuss! I don't want to be known as the hero who got through the Earth Temple by running away!"

"Don't think about it like that, Link. Think about like it's a pacifist run"

"No one likes pacifist runs!"

"I bet someone does!"

"Well, I don't know anyone who does! We didn't even get the main item and the boss key the way we were supposed to!"

"We still got them!"

"You stile forty from my wallet and slipped the miniboss the money so we wouldn't have to fight him for the key. And then you stole forty more rupees and told him to go get us the main item of the dungeon!"

"He got it for us, didn't he?"

"Yes, but I don't' want to be known as the lazy hero who has others pay enemies to help him!"

"I thought you didn't want to be known as the hero who ran threw the earth temple in a pacifist run?"

"I don't want to be known as that either! Those are both bad titles!"

"Relax, Link. We're done with that. Now, let's worry about the matter at hand"

"Like what?"

"Like how in hell are we going to solve this mirror puzzle"

Link and Medli stared at one another. A light bulb suddenly appeared over Link's head. Medli stared at us.

"Where the hell did that light bulb come from?" She asked him.

"Oh, that's Phil. He's my imaginary light bulb buddy. He just gave me an idea!" Link explained.

"Why don't you just use him to light the giant sun in the middle of the room. It does have a light bulb socket"

"No, that's a stupid idea. My idea is so much better than that"

"Well, actually. Your friend has a good point there. Why don't you just put me into the light bulb socket and save so much more time" Phil, the light bulb, explained.

"Shut up, Phil. Your idea sucks"

"But it was her idea"

"Shut up, Phil. I've got this!"

(Fifteen minutes of failure later)

"I don't know what to do!" Link screamed, grabbing Medli's shoulders.

"What did you do? Break all the mirrors?" Medli asked him.

"No, why would I break all the mirrors? That would be stupid"

"That's what you did, isn't it?"

"Yes, that's exactly what I did"

"How in hell did you break all of them?"

"I was trying to see if I could shoot the sun, to see if it would light up. So, I shot the mirrors and it cracked all the mirrors and made them unusable"

Medli glared at the hero, before brutally slapping him across his face.

"Link, you're the biggest idiot I have ever met in the history of idiots" Medli screamed in his face.

"That is the meanest thing you have ever said to me, Medli. Not only have you upset me, but we also have no way of solving this puzzle!" Link screamed.

"What about Phil?"

"What about him?" Link, all of a sudden, calmed down.

"Why didn't you just put Phil into the light bulb socket in the first place? You wouldn't have even needed to do anything with the mirrors!"

"Oh, why didn't you tell me that?"

"I did. A lot!"

Link only glared at her before pulling Phil out of his pocket and screwing him into the socket. The room lit up and the bars in front of the door opened. The pair of heroes looked at each other and nodded. They entered the door and made their way to the boss.

(In the boss chamber)

Link and Medli entered the boss chamber and looked around.

"This boss chamber looks quite cryptic," Medli said, "What do you think the boss will be?"

"I don't know, but I sure it's not that army of redeads that Derp mentioned" Link said.

"Who the hell is Derp?"

"He's one of the bomb ships the king of red lions and I met. He told us about this army of redeads that is stored somewhere in this temple"

"You talk to bomb ships?"

"Yes, we're strange people. Don't question it"

"I wasn't planning on it"

All of a sudden, the pair noticed a floating lantern in the center of the room. They looked at each other.

"Come on, Medli, let's go take a closer look at this lantern" Link said.

"I don't think so, Link. I can handle moblins, but I cannot handle whatever that is" Medli said.

"We don't know what it is yet," Link said, "Stop being a wuss and help me out!"

Link glared at the girl for several minutes before grabbing her and throwing her over his shoulder. Medli screamed as he walked over the lantern. Link gulped and looked up.

"Hey, you! Lantern thing! I am the hero of winds and I am here to kick your butt!" Link screamed.

"That is the stupidest sentence I have ever heard," Medli said, "Are you, like, afraid to swear or something?"

"Chaos wants us to avoid swearing. Excuse me for listening to her!"

"Are you two going to argue or fight me?" Someone interrupted them.

The pair slowly looked up. Link's jaw nearly dropped at the sight of the boss. Medli simply stared in shock at it.

"Holy crap! That is the biggest ghost I have ever seen!" Medli screamed.

Link shot the girl a glare. The ghost looked very offended.

"Did you just call me fat?" The ghost asked.

Medli panicked and looked over at Link. Link only glared at her.

"No, I was saying that you're the biggest ghost I have ever seen. You're not fat" Medli explained.

"Medli, I don't think this is working" Link whispered to her.

"It's clearly not working! Look at him, he's about to put on fire!"

The pair realized what Medli had just said and looked over at the ghost.

"He's about to put us on fire! RUN!" The pair began running all over the area.

The ghost began to release his henchmen to go after the pair. Link and Medli continued to scream and run around the area. Link, panicking, grabbed his shield and began whacking at the small ghost. The ghost, unaffected only laughed.

"What's so funny? I thought the shield would make a good attack method!" Link screamed.

"It's not, Link. It's not the worst possible attack method you could use right now!" Medli screamed, running past him.

Link groaned.

"I am sick of getting laughed at! I am the hero of winds and demand respect!" He screamed.

The ghost, including the boss, only stared at him before starting to laugh once again. Even Medli had started to laugh. Link glared at everyone in the room before pulling his bow and arrow out. Medli, still laughing, hadn't noticed that Link was shooting all the small ghost in the head with arrows, killing them instantly. As soon as she noticed they were all gone, she stopped laughing and looked up to see an extra mad boss.

"Oh, hello boss," She said, "How are you doing?"

The boss glared at her.

"I see, not so well," She continued, "Please don't kill me"

The boss didn't listen and proceeded to whack her with the lantern.

"HELP ME,LINK! HE"S CRUSHING ME WITH HIS LANTERN!" She screamed.

Link, clearly distracted by something didn't notice that Medli was getting crushed by the ghost. The boss appeared to be quite amused with this game, until he got a random beam of light shot into his eyes.

"OH MY GOODNESS! MY EYES! I AM GOING BLIND!" He screamed, running around.

Medli only stared as the ghost ran around the room ,running into all the spiked pillars in the corners of the room.

"So, how's the boss battle going?" Link asked.

He noticed that the boss was rolling all over the room, much like a balloon running out of air.

"What on earth is he doing?" He asked.

"Someone shot a ray of light into his eyes and now he's running uncontrollably into the walls and proceeding to kill himself" Medli explained.

"Oh, so that light over there is important," Link said, pointing to one of the lights around the room, "I just thought it was pretty and wanted to touch it!"

Medli groaned and slapped Link across the face.

"What was that for?" Link snapped at her.

"For being an idiot, but for also accidentally saving us" Medli responded.

Just as Link was about to respond, the boss suddenly exploded and left literally everything in the room covered in the ghost's ashes. The pair looked at one another. Link looked beyond annoyed, but Medli seemed to find it hilarious and burst out laughing. Link, visibly annoyed, groaned and proceeded to pull his sword sheath off. As soon as Medli saw this, she stopped laughing.

"Link, what are you doing with that? Are you mad at me?" She asked him.

"You laughed at me too many times already and I can't let you get away with this!" He said in an evil voice.

Medli screamed and went to run away, but she was too late and was hit over the head with Link's sheath. Link, still angry, left the arena and ignored Medli's uncurious body.

(Outside the temple/island)

Link approached his partner and sat down with a huff.

"Let me guess, Link. Medli annoyed you and you left her uncurious body inside the boss chamber, didn't you?" The king of red lions asked.

"Yes, I did. She laughed at me too many times" Link said.

"Grow up, Link. Everyone laughs at you"

"But it hurt my feelings!" Link said, sounding evil once again.

The king of red lions sighed.

"Do you want to go take your anger out on Orca? I'm pretty sure he's ready to fight you again by now" The king of red lions said.

"Take me to him"

"Fine, but don't blame me if he sues you for breaking your previous record of 10,001 hits"

(The end)

**Is it just me? Or am I putting less effort into these chapters now? XD**

**Anyway, I hope you enjoyed that. If you liked it, feel free to leave a review. If you didn't, just get lost. I don't need to hear your opinion. Once again, constructive criticism is allowed (and encouraged). I'm a little bummed that last chapter currently only has one review, but oh well! Everyone has those days, things happen. I'm just going to stay positive and continue to work on this wonderful story no matter what happens. That was little random, wasn't it? XD**

**Anyway, See ya!**


	7. Dragon roost cavern

**Hello people! It's me, Chaos, but you already knew that. It's been a while since I've updated this and I feel really bad. I've been caught up in other things (My birthday party/get together, distractions and Pikmin 2). So, I'm sorry for this late update. Anyway, I hope you all enjoy this chapter.**

**Link's Misadventures in Wind Waker: Dragon Roost Cavern **

"Hey, Link?" The king of red lions started.

"Yes?" Link responded.

"Are you sure this is safe?"

"Yes, I am absolutely sure this is safe. What could go wrong?"

The king of red lions glared up at the hero, who was on top of the wind mill holding a fishing rod (Which was actually a stick with some string and a hook), and sighed.

"What are you even trying to accomplish doing this?" He asked annoyed.

"The shop that sells the sail is right below the wind mill," Link started, "I plan on using this fishing rod to fish in the sail, rather than pay eighty rupees for it"

"Link, your fishing rod is just a stick and some string"

"Yes, but I'm not rich. This is the best I could do. I can't afford to buy a fishing rod, it's expensive!"

"Link, it's five rupees"

"I need to save money! I am a twelve year old boy trying to save my sister and the princess. I need supplies, dang it!"

"Link, you can easily get supplies by cutting grass and getting pigs to dig it up using all purpose bait"

"All purpose bait cost money to"

"You are the cheapest person in the universe"

"No, there's cheaper people in those stupid shows called cartoons"

"We are not comparing Wind Waker to a cartoon"

"Why not? We look like cartoons"

"As true as that is, your still cheap"

Link glared at his partner before lowering the string.

"I guarantee that I can get the sail without wasting my well earned money" Link said.

"You get money from cutting grass and finding treasure, in the Great Sea" The King of red lions said.

"Yes, but I work hard for my money," Link said, "Hey, look. I got something!"

The king of red lions, clearly annoyed, sighed and watched as Link reeled in his precious "treasure".

"This is going to be good," Link said, "I can't wait to see that sail"

The king of red lions was surprised at what he caught. Link, who was outraged, glared at the object in disappointment.

"All I caught is someone's stupid wallet!," He cried, "How is this going to help me?"

He opened the wallet and removed an orange rupee.

"Hey, who ever this wallet belongs to is awesome! They have one hundred rupees in here!" Link said happily.

"Link, that money doesn't belong to you. Now, you come down here and find the owner of that wallet!" The king of red lions screamed.

"Your attracting attention, King of red lions"

"So are you! People have been staring at you for hours now!"

Link looked down to see an entire crowd people staring at him, like he was crazy.

"Hey, stop staring at me! Don't you all have a life to live?" He screamed at them.

"Actually no, we're just programmed to walk around the island and look busy" Mila said.

"Wow, you guys are hopeless. I bet who ever lost this wallet wouldn't realize that I have it and wouldn't care if I spent it"

Link, after standing there for several seconds, realized something.

"I've got an great idea!" He screamed.

(15 minutes, at Dragon Roost island)

"Link, I still can't believe that you spent the rupees you stole on the sail" The king of red lions said.

"I had to get the sail somehow! And I was not going to spend my well earned money on it" Link said.

"Link, we are not having this discussion again. I'm just going to say this, you're cheap"

"I am not cheap! I'm trying to save my money for a later thing that can't be mentioned right now"

"Link, we're heroes, we can't just sit here and argue about pointless plot items"

"This is included as a plot item?"

"Never mind. Just get going already"

"What if I don't?"

The king of red lions growled.

(3 and a half seconds later)

Link was running up the slope to the main island screaming.

"My boat just threatened to murder me!" He screamed.

The postman that was standing on the edge of the cliff stared as he ran by.

"What the haystack just happened? I swear some nutcase just ran by screaming about his boat trying to murder him" The postman said.

He pondered about that for a second before shrugging it off.

"Oh, well. Now I just have to wait for Link to show up" He said.

(Meanwhile inside the island)

"I'm telling you! My boat threatened to MURDER me! I'm not crazy!" Link screamed.

The group of birds stared at Link like he was on drugs before looking at one another in confusion.

"Listen, man, we're just waiting for the apparent hero of winds to arrive and calm the great Valoo for us. We haven't been able to get any dragon scales in months, man" The leader said.

Link raised an eyebrow.

"Would this hero happen to be named Link? From Outset island?" He asked.

"Oh, yes. We heard he's a heroic figure" One of the birds said.

"Oh, that's me! My name is Link! I'm from Outset island!"

"Listen, man, I didn't ask for your life's story. I just want to find this hero"

"But, I am the hero'

The leader thought about it for a minute.

"Oh, so you're the hero of winds?" He asked the child.

"Yes, Link, the hero" Link responded.

The leader growled.

"I'm going to have to fire the guard who told me about you. All he told me was a lie" He muttered.

"OH, you mean like how the cake is a lie?" A random guard from the top floor yelled.

"No, Bill! Shut up and get to work! I don't pay you to mess around!"

"You don't pay us at all!"

"I said shut up, knave!"

Link only stared at the group in confusion. The leader looked at him and sighed.

"Alright, if I must, you're going to have to calm down the great Valoo" He said.

"How do I do that?" Link asked.

"You must climb up the great, deadly volcano and defeat the monster in the cavern below the great Valoo. The dang monster keeps pulling on his tail and it's starting to annoy him to the point where we can't get near him"

"Climb a volcano?"

"Yes, climb a volcano and kill a giant bug"

"So, I'm just an exterminator?"

"Yes, but anyway, I first need you to give this letter to my son and meet up with my assistant, Medli"

"Why can't you just go talk to your son?"

"He's gone crazy"

"How crazy?"

"Let's just say he's jacked up on mountain dew and I took his supply of code red away from him, and now he hates my guts"

"He hates you that much"

"I know, right?"

Link groaned, taking the letter and walking away, he glared at the postman from outside and snatched the bag from his belt.

"I'm taking this to carry this letter, thank you" Link said.

"He just stole my bag!" The bird screamed.

"So?" The boss said.

"You're not going to do anything about it?"

"NO, that bag was butt ugly"

(In the prince's room)

Link slowly pushed the door open and peeked in.

"Hello, this is the hero of winds, I need to give you this letter from your father" He said.

He stared at the boy on the bed and slowly entered the room, placing the letter on the bed and backing away.

"Hello? Are you sure you're not dead? You're ignoring everything I'm saying" Link rambled on.

He heard a faint growl and his eyes went wide.

"I think I'm just going to leave now" Link said, backing away.

All of a sudden, he got hit in the face with a red orb. He picked the orb up and looked over at the boy.

"What the haystack was that for?" He screamed. The boy slowly turned around to reveal glowing red eyes. Link gulped and backed away.

"You're scaring me. Please calm down before you murder me into a bloody mess all over this very room" Link screamed.

(5 and a quarter seconds later)

"YOU DIDN'T TELL ME THAT HE WAS THAT CRAZY!" Link screamed in the leader's face.

"Duh, man, if I would of told you, you wouldn't have gone in there" The leader said.

"I was almost killed!"

"Listen, man, don't just stand here screaming at me when you have an assistant to meet with"

"Heck no! I'm not helping you again!"

"Listen, man, I have a way of getting you to work and it's not pretty"

"How bad?"

(15 seconds later)

"OH MY GOODNESS! HE"S THREATNING TO DROWN ME IN RAINBOWS!" Link screamed and ran up the ramp.

The entire group of guards stared in shock at the leader.

"What? You think that was a little to harsh?" He asked.

"No, flooding him in rainbows?" The entire group asked.

"What? We have a rainbow pit"

"NO WE DON'T!"

The leader scowled and pressed the big red button on the wall next to him. A hole opened in the floor and revealed a deep pit full of rainbows. The guards stared at the hole, dumbfounded.

"What? Is it to beautiful for words?" The leader asked.

"Where the haystack did you get rainbows?" The group asked.

"Oh, I kidnapped a group of nyan cats and forced them to make rainbows for us"

The group looked horrified. The leader then realized the meaning of his previous sentences.

"Ew! What the hell was I thinking?" He screamed.

(Meanwhile upstairs)

Link and Medli just stared at each other as the leader ran around the bottom floor screaming his head off.

"What the hell is wrong with that guy?" Link asked.

"I don't even know. His father was a much better leader than him" Medli said.

"Are you sure?

"No, I'm lying. All the people in his family sucked at ruling over anything"

"Kind of figured that. Anyway you want me to meet you at the empty, formally water-filled area in which the entrance is downstairs?"

"Yes, that's exactly what I want"

"Hey, medli can I ask you a question?"

"Yes?"

"Do you think that the readers will notice that the authoress skipped over us meeting for the first time because she felt that rainbows were more entertaining"

"I hope not. They would pretty angry if they found out about that. Rainbows don't entertain anybody"

"What about bronies?"

"That's racist, Link"

"No it's not! Bronies aren't a race, there a group of people!"

Medli glared at him.

"Still racist" She said.

Link thought about for a second.

"Oh, crap! It was racist! The readers are going to kill me!" He screamed.

(15 minutes later)

Link and Medli, after ending their racist discussion, entered the empty room. They stared in shock at the pit.

"Wow. This is a lot more empty than I thought it was" Medli said.

"I know, right?," Link said, "How do we fix this?"

"I'll give you the solution to this puzzle on one condition"

"And what's that?"

"You must throw me up that cliff with the risk of breaking every bone in my precious body"

Link only stared at her. Medli started to get concerned.

"Link, are you okay?" She asked.

"Yes, I love this plan" He said.

"Well that's good"

"But I have a better idea!"

"Oh, crap!"

(5 seconds later)

"WHERE THE HELL DID YOU EVEN GET A CATAPULT?" Medli screamed as she went flying through the air in a barrel.

Link only laughed, maniacally, as he watched her fly into a nearby wall. All of a sudden, a random bottle fell from the sky and hit the rock nearby. The bottle shattered into pieces. Link could feel his brain about crack in frustration.

"Dang it! I broke the dang solution to the problem!" He screamed.

He breathed deeply with anger and stood there, cringing, while the rock broke in the background. He turned around quickly and sighed.

"This is not good. I should be running, but I'm standing here instead. I'm so screwed" He muttered.

All of a sudden, the hole was filled with water. This left Link covered in water.

(Later in the temple)

Link panted and sat down on the ground.

"That was the worst temple ever! I just almost drowned and now I have to battle a boss! How much worse can this get?" He screamed.

He reached into his pocket, for the boss key, and pulled out nothing. He sighed in anger.

"King of red lions, where the fudge is the boss key?" He asked his partner.

"You didn't find it yet, there's more to this temple" The king of red lions said.

Link's right eye twitched in anger. He screamed out in anger, shaking the entire temple.

"I can't believe that there's more to this dang temple! I AM GOING TO KILL THE PEOPLE WHO MADE THIS TEMPLE!" Link screamed in anger.

He went to scream more, but was rudely interrupted by the following message.

(This rage moment has been censored by this random message. I hope you didn't want to see Link rage epically about the first temple in the game. If you did, I apologize, but Link's anger would make this story self destruct. We wouldn't want that, would we? I bet you would!)

(At the top of the mountain/volcano)

Link, extremely annoyed, dragged his sword up the mountain and stopped in front of a suspicious looking gate. He shot a glare at the gate.

"I'm not falling for that trick, gate! You want me to walk in there and then you'll close on me! Well , it's not going to work! No, not on me!" Link screamed at the gate.

"Link, why the hell are you screaming at a gate? It can't talk at all!" Medli screamed from the other side.

Link shot a glare over there. He appeared to be annoyed.

"When the hell did you get captured? I thought I shot you over to the dragon?" He screamed.

"No, you missed completely. I shot me into this cave! You suck at you're job!" Medli screamed at him.

Link growled and ran at her with his sword, running face first into the bars. He stood up and glared at the bars.

"I hate you, bars. You're keeping me from killing Medli! Now move your selves and get out my way!" Link screamed at the bars.

"Uh, Link" Medli started.

"Shut up, Medli!"

"But, Link"

"Medli, shut up"

"Link, but this is important"

"No it's not. Your pointless!"

Medli's left eye twitched with anger. Link stood there glaring at her. Medli sighed.

"Link, this is really important" Medli said.

"What? You don't need to tell me everything! I'll handle this dungeon without you!" He walked away, walking into the other bars blocking the exit.

Link stared at the bars and sighed.

"I walked in, didn't I?" He asked her.

"Yes, you did. I was trying to tell you that the entire time" Medli said.

"Well, there's nothing here. We're all good!"

All of a sudden, Link was surrounded by monsters. He sighed.

"I just had to say it. I just screwed myself over" He said in monotone.

"You can handle them, just use your sword" Medli said.

"I've got a better idea"

Link placed a remote bomb on the floor in front of him, Medli and Link stared at each other. Medli looked annoyed and Link just grinned.

"Link, you are aware that those only exist in minish cap, right?" Medli asked.

"Not anymore" Link declared pressing the button, activating it.

The bomb exploded and covered the area with smoke.

Link and Medli stared at each other when the smoke cleared. Medli was clearly annoyed, but Link was grinning.

"See, it works?" Link said.

"Yes, but you almost killed us!" She screamed.

"Medli, are we inside now? Because there's no breeze in here"

"There is no breeze in here! Where the heck are we?"

They slowly turned around to see the boss glaring down at them.

"Oh, we're in the boss chamber" Link said in shock.

"Oh, this is bad. I didn't even give you the dungeon item yet" Medli said.

The boss stopped and stared at them.

"Oh, there are graphing hooks on the wall behind you. You just have to pay ten rupees" The boss said.

"I am not paying ten rupees for the dungeon item! I have to save money!" Link screamed.

Medli grabbed 2 blue rupees from Link's pocket and gave them to the boss, throwing a graphing hook into his arms.

"You just did, now fight the boss!" She screamed in his face.

Link grumbled and faced the boss.

"I will defeat you! Now, stop pulling on the dragon's tail so we can all go one with our lives!" Link screamed at him.

"I wasn't pulling on his tail," The boss said, "He's just mad that I took this property from him while I was looking for a new home"

"A new home?"

"yeah, my mom kicked me out and I was just looking for a new place to live. What did you think I was doing?"

"I don't know. Being evil?"

"I'm not evil! You're talking about my evil twin brother, Gohma"

"Than who the hell are you?"

"Marshmallow"

"What kind of name of is that?"

"Ask my mother I don't know"

Medli stared at the ceiling while the pair argued back and forth. Her eyes went wide when they realized the ceiling was cracking.

"Hey, guys. How much does Valoo weigh?' She asked the pair.

"I don't know. Why are you asking?" Marshmallow asked.

"The ceiling is cracking"

The trio looked up and then at each other.

"This isn't going to end well, is it?" Link asked.

"NO" The other two said.

All of a sudden, the ceiling collapsed and buried them in rubble.

"Ah, crap! We're screwed!" Medli screamed.

"Oh, don't worry. We'll spawn on the island again!" Link said.

(5 minutes later)

Medli and Link spawned on the beach of the island to see all the people of the island standing there.

"What happened to you guys? Island destroyed?" Link asked.

"Yes, the dragon crushed our home. Now we have to live on this beach!" The leader screamed.

"Yeah, that's sad, but I can't help you. I have a world to save and I can't spend this time saving you from poverty"

Link walked away, clearly not caring to help them. The bird people looked offended and glared at the boy.

"Does anybody else here want to kill him?" The leader asked.

"Hell yeah!" They screamed.

Link quickly jumped into the king of red lions.

"Play the ballad of gales already! The entire race of bird people wants me dead!" He screamed.

"The boss destroyed the island and now the people are blaming you, right?" The king of red lions asked him.

"Yes, now hurry up and save me!"

"But playing the ballad of gales would be breaking the fourth wall!"

"Who cares! Save me!"

King of red lions sighed and played the ballad of gales. The bird people flew at him at high speeds. A tornado flew around the pair of heroes, blowing them back and making them ram into various walls.

Once they were gone, the bird people sat on the shore of their now ruined island and sighed.

"This is where we die. We will die on the shores of our once beautiful island" The leader said.

"Of hunger?"

"Of monsters?"

"No. Komali is going to brutally murder us or, if he's hungry, eat us one by one"

The race of people looked at one another as Komali flew around in the background at the speed of sonic the hedgehog.

"NOOOOOOOOO!" The entire race screamed.

**Okay, that wasn't as good as usual. I kind of rushed this chapter and that was an AWFUL idea! I wanted to get this chapter up today and it didn't turn out as good as I hoped it would. I hope you still like it anyway. I'm so sorry about the late update. I was getting distracted by extremely unimportant stuff. Anyway, constructive criticism is always welcome and flamers can go somewhere else. Feel free to review. I was going to say "Read and review", but if you read this, you already did the reading part! Anyway, you guys have an awesome day! See ya!**


	8. The endless night sorta

**Hey people! It's me MysticalChaosX. Here with chapter eight of Link's misadventures in wind waker. It has been so long since I've updated anything and I had some free time to write this chapter. This isn't the original chapter eight (Since the original is on our other computer, that doesn't work at the moment), but I hope you enjoy regardless. **

**Link's misadventures in Wind Waker: The endless night. **

The King of Red Lions sighed in annoyance as he watched Link play the song of passing for the twentieth time in a row. The fact that they were on Greatfish isle, the cursed island, didn't make it much better.

"Why the heck isn't this working?! The creeper man said this would work!" Link said, getting frustrated.

"Link, if it didn't work the first time, what makes you think it's going to work the twentieth time? That makes no sense whatsoever, but than again barely anything in Zelda makes sense anyway. Why do we even question it?" The King of Red Lions asked.

"I'm sure. Why did the game insist on putting a talking dragon boat in a game with a twelve year old, that is clearly inexperienced in swordplay, and expect them to travel to Hyrule, to save the princess of Hyrule that is no where to be found? It makes no sense"

"Link, it wasn't the game, it was Miyamoto that insisted on it. He is the creator of this game afterall"

"Are you really sure about that? Do you have the facts to back that up?"

"No, the authoress never has any facts to back any of the stuff she says up. It's like the reason she hates Ilia. **(twilight princess fans, please don't leave anything about this in any review. It's a joke. Even though I really hate Ilia). **It's illogical and had no research whatsoever done on it"

"Or she just doesn't know much about the legend of zelda timeline"

"Link, she doesn't give a carp about the timeline. She's a writer, she doesn't care about it"

Link just crossed his arm and sighed.

"I cannot believe I'm the one saying this, but aren't we supposed to be progressing with the story? Now be the mister explanation, like usual, and tell me where the heck we're supposed to go" He said.

"Fine, you don't have to be a deadpan snarker about it. We're supposed to go to your home island and confront Jabun about giving us the blue pearl to break this glob forsaken curse and make it to the next dungeon of the game" The ship explained.

"So, why are we just sitting here? Let's head south of here and confront that Jabun person! It doesn't sound long or hard whatsoever!"

"You didn't let me finish, Link"

"Excuse me? There's MORE? Nothing in this game is short!"

"It's shorter than skyward sword, but we don't for sure because the authoress has no proof whatsoever and is probably just saying that because she hates the game with a passion"

"Are you going to explain or not? I'm pretty sure everyone has had enough of the authoress not doing her research joke, if it even is a joke"

"Fine, but I'm pretty someone enjoyed it. Anyway, we have to go to Windfall Island and rob the bomb shop, because we need funds for another part of the game that the authoress will most likely not parody due to the fact that it would be mostly jokes about a certain thirty-five year old being cheap as hell"

"Pardon?"

"Nothing. We just need to go rob a shopkeeper of some bombs and break down a huge stone blocking a cave while circling around in a random whirlpool that appeared for no explained reason whatsoever"

"I don't understand this game"

"No one does, Link. Just take my instructions and we'll be at Outset in no time"

(At Windfall)

Link and his partner stared at the island, not even amused by what they saw.

"Why didn't you mention this was going to happen? I thought you knew everything about this game?" Link said in monotone.

"I didn't think that Tetra and her stupid band of pirates were going to travel to this island and steal the bombs before we showed up. They're probably going to ditch the bombs on their ship with some dumb lard left to guard them" The king of red lions.

"You didn't foreshadow just now, did you?"

"No, the authoress would never do that"

(Later)

Link sighed as he walked inside the ship, staring at Niko as if he was expecting him to be there.

"King of Red Lions, why haven't you told me a single bit of truth in this chapter as all?" Link spoke into his gossip stone.

"What are you talking about? How the heck was I supposed to know that she would go as far foreshadowing an event that everyone, or most people, could predict from a mile away" The king of red lions.

"She constantly breaks the fourth wall. How could it come off as a surprise to anyone? It's like she deliberately uses that joke in the case where she can't think of anything else to do"

"Link, stop being a deadpan snarker and act like an idiot for once this chapter, like the authoress intended on"

Link only sighed and turned to Niko.

"Niko, I'll make this short and simple, give me the bombs or I'll tear you apart slowly with every weapon in my arsenal" He said.

"Link, when the heck did you become some kind of comedic sociopath? It's like the authoress intended on making you change characters every ten seconds" Niko said.

"I'm pretty sure everyone is already getting sick of this joke already. I don't even know how many times it's been made in this chapter. And don't even get me started on the whole fourth wall thing"

Niko only stared at him and shook his head.

"I can't give you the bombs. Miss Tetra told me that I had to guard them my life and die if any comedic sociopath came to take them from me" He said.

"Are you the retarded one of the pirates?" Link asked.

"No. I am no retard. Just ask all the other pirates. They'll tell you I'm one of the most intelligent people ever!"

(Meanwhile at the bar, on the island)

"Thank goodness that we left that idiot Niko to guard the bombs. There's no way that moron would last three drinks with us" Gonzo said.

"I know right! He acts like we like him, even though we all hate him and just use him as our cleaning person" Another pirate said.

All the pirates started to laugh, dancing circles around Tetra in tutus singing the sailor song. Tetra only sighed and gulped down her drink, fainting five seconds later.

(At the ship)

"I'll just take your word on that, but I doubt that's actually true" Link said.

"But, I can allow you to take my test from the beginning of the game again for the bombs" Niko said.

Link only shook his head in disgust.

"I'll take your test, but I guarantee it isn't different from last time" He said.

(Five seconds later)

Link only glared at Niko, who stood there with a retarded looking grin.

"You like it? I'm going to have the others test it once they return from where ever the heck they went" Niko said.

"It's basicly just the same course boxes replacing all the platforms and more rope hanging from the ceiling. It's going to be easier than the last test" Link said.

"Care to make a wager on that?"

"Yes. If I completely within three to five seconds, you have to cosplay as Tetra until the pirates come back and get into a cat fight with the real one"

"Deal. If you don't complete it in that time, you have to give up your journey to save your sister and stay on this crew as my slave"

"Sounds good to me. I'm not liking this journey anyway"

Niko grinned and jumped over to the other side in a single jump, looking back at him with a cocky looking grin. Link only sighed and jumped onto the first platform. Niko turned and grinned.

"He can't do it" He said to himself.

He turned around and screamed when he saw Link standing there with his arms crossed.

"Where the hell did you come from?!" He screamed.

"The other side, where else?" Link responded.

"How did you get over her so fast?"

"Transition powers"

"What the hell are those?"

"That's for me to know and for you to never find out, ever. Now give me the bombs and put this costume on"

Niko took the costume in shame and pointed over to the chest with the bombs in it. Link walked by him and happily opened the chest, walking away with the bombs.

(Outside the ship)

The King of Red Lions watched as Link walked out with a look of success on his face.

"I'm guessing you got the bombs, right?" The ship asked him.

"Yes and I got Niko to put on Tetra cosplay!" Link responded.

The ship only stard at him in confusion.

"How the hell did you manage to do that?" He asked.

"That's a short, hilarious, story, but I'll tell you that I finally made use of the transition powers that I was rewarded" Link responded.

"Link, this isn't an abridged series"

"Technically, it could be. Abridged means shorter and this is much shorter than the game"

"I doubt that. I think someone who knows this game inside and out is capable of figuring out this part of the game, and finishing it, before you even finish it"

Link only sighed.

"So? Maybe not that part of it, but it's still has jokes and stuff" He said.

"No puns?" The King of Red Lions asked deadpanned.

"No, the authoress sucks at puns"

"That doesn't surprise me"

"We have a rock to destroy, King of Red Lions. We have no time to discuss how the authoress is an unoriginal moron who sucks at puns"

"I didn't say anything about her being unoriginal"

"Well, I did and it surprises me that you didnt' say anything about how I just randomly changed from what ever the heck I was to the responsible hero"

"I choose not to question that anymore. I never get a reasonable answer anyway"

"Well, enough talk! We have a rock to destory!"

(In the middle of the great sea)

"Who the hell put us in that situation!?" Link screamed as they circled around in a huge tornado.

"Cyclos. He just feels like being a complete and utter jerk to everyone, and possbly throwing everyone in some random direction" The King of Red Lions said in monotone.

"How the hell can you be so deadpanned in a situation like this?"

"I've been in worse situations"

"I can't believe that"

"Well, I promise you that I've been in worse situations than this. Don't accuse me of lying or something horrible could happen"

All of a sudden, Link and the ship were tossed out of the tornado at the speed of a torpedo. Link was screaming like a girl the whole time, while the King of Red Lions simply kept a straight face.

(5 minutes later)

"Well, of least we made it to the island!" Link said.

"Yes, but can't you see that my head is shoved into the rock!" The ship screamed.

"Well, haven't you been in worse situations than this?"

"Actually, no"

The screen panned out to show that Link and his ship were shot into the huge stone blocking the cave.

"How are we getting down?" Link asked.

"I have no clue. Why don't you go all smart guy on us and think of a way out of here?" The ship snapped.

"That is one characterization that will never happen to me. I'm not as smart as that one pirate, Mako, or you for that matter"

"Oh, really?"

Link sighed and turned around, letting out a loud, frightful scream. A giant, floating fish was staring him right in the face.

"Who the heck are you?" He screamed at it.

"Oh, my name is Jabun. I was just in my cave watching some cartoons when you and your ship crashed into my rock. What the hell are you guys doing here?" The fish asked.

"We were on our way to get the blue pearl from you when, that jerk, Cyclos caught us in his tornado and threw us into this rock. Can you get us down from here?"

"Oh, of course! This will just take a couple of painless seconds"

The fish just simply tapped the stone with his fin and the stone fell into a lot of pieces. Link and the King of Red Lions went falling, screaming their heads off. The fish watched as they made a surprisingly large splash and instantly got splashed in the face.

"I was nearly crushed by rock! What the fudge cakes man?" Link broke to the surface of the water, glaring at the fish.

"Well, I thought it would be painless. How the heck was I supposed to know that you might of gotten you crushed by a rock?" Jabun responded.

The King of Red Lions broke to the surface and glared at him to.

"It's all logic, Jabun. Huge chunks of rock plus a person on a talking dragon boat equals pain!" He screamed at him.

"So? You guys don't seem all that important" Jabun said.

"Hey! That's no way to talk to the hero of winds! And his talking dragon boat!"

Jabun went silent.

"He's the hero of winds?" He asked.

"I thought the same thing when I found out too, Jabun. But, yes, he's the hero of winds. I understand you have the blue pearl, right?" The ship asked.

"Of course, but it's called Nayru's pearl"

"Who cares? Can we just have the pearl?" Link interupted.

"Fine. You can have Nayru's pearl, but be warned, if you take this pearl, you will be stuck in this journey until it's done"

Everyone went silent.

"Than can we refuse to take it?" Link asked.

"No" Jabun said.

"Why not?"

"Because, I don't want it. I've had it for over one hundred years and I don't like it"

Jabun quickly threw the pearl to them and disappeared randomly. Link looked at his partner in confusion.

"What the hell just happened?" He asked him.

"I think we just got the blue pearl,or Nayru's pearl, to get access to the next dungeon and continue to progress the story instead of doing pointless crap that has no importance to the story" The King of Red Lions answered.

"Okay, but do we have to go right away?"

"Why?"

"I want to have fun with these bombs. We didn't get to use them on the rock after all"

"Okay, than how do you propose we use them?"

"You'll see"

(At Windfall)

Tetra and the pirates started in shock, and horror, at Niko in the Tetra cosplay.

"Why the hell are you dressed like that? You aren't a cross dresser Niko!" Tetra screamed.

"I can explain" Niko said.

"Don't, I already know"

"You do not!"

"You made Link to your stupid test and took it way too far, making a stupid bet and failing epicly at it. And I'm going to assume that you lost our bombs too"

"Yes, I did"

All of a sudden, the ship shook a little bit.

"We're being attacked by Link and his stupid talking boat, aren't we?" Gonzo asked.

"Yes and I know who to blame"

"Who?" All the pirates asked.

There was an awkward silence before Tetra yelled loudly.

"NIKO!"

**First of all, I'm sorry about the really late update. I intended to have this up way earlier, but I got distracted with all that happened over Christmas break. The original chapter eight that I have on the other computer will now be chapter nine. And I do have a new parody that has yet to be typed up. It's a pikmin story. So if you like pikmin, check it out after it's up. I would really appreciate. And feel free to review, but please don't review if all you're going to say is "you suck". I work hard to make these up and I don't appreciate bad reviews. But, regardless I hope you all enjoyed the chapter. See ya! :)**


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